The first time I was asked to be a bridesmaid, I cried. I didn’t expect to, but I just felt this wave of emotion roll over me and I started tearing up. It didn’t take much—just a phone conversation and a heartfelt request—but asking someone to be your bridesmaid or maid of honor is a special moment, so choose a personal way to do it. Make a special phone call to each of your ladies or meet with them in person if distance doesn’t stand in the way. There are also lots of beautiful invitation cards or small gifts that can serve as a keepsake for the moment. I think it’s best to ask verbally so you two can share a special moment. Then you can follow up with a card or gift to commemorate the occasion if you wish. Here are some “will you be my bridesmaid?” items I love.
If you’d rather not play the sentimental card, this one from Naughty Betty is hilarious.
Want to go a step further than a card? How about a bottle of wine or champagne with a custom label from Michele Purner Designs? (I almost prefer the groomsmen option. Mustaches!)
Fashion Friday is coming one day early since, surprise surprise, I’m in a wedding this weekend! Lots of post-wedding posts to come. In the meantime, I bring you Modcloth, a great resource for offbeat bridesmaid dresses, especially if you’re interested in patterns, florals or a more casual look. The dresses are also generally a lot more inexpensive than traditional bridesmaid offerings: prices range from $50 to $100. Be sure that all the maids purchase quickly and together after you make your choice though. Styles do sell out and turn over seasonally and new styles are added almost daily. Here are a few of my favorite summer offerings.
Melon Love with a Dress
The Details: Perfect for summer BBQs or strolls in the park, machine washable and in fashion-forward watermelon hue, this dress will get plenty of wear after the big day. The peekaboo lace at the bottom fancies it up a bit for the ceremony and the flowing A-line skirt and empire waist will flatter any figure.
The Details: Recipe for style: Add a subtle pop of orange to a cornflower blue swirling geometric print and style with a demure V-neck and flattering band at the natural waist.
Fabric: Did I mention it’s 100% organic fair trade cotton?
Price: $93.99
Afternoon at the Arboretum Dress
The Details: This pretty floral in cream, rose and blue is delicate and feminine, but the cinched-waist silhouette keeps this dress looking utterly modern. The included belt adds a needed touch of hardware and the navy Peter Pan collar brings attention to the face.
Fabric: Polyester
Price: $49.99
Elegant Engravings Dress
The Details: It’s floral, it’s cutout, it’s coral—what more could you want? I adore the intricate cutout design and the sash at the waist. The touch of silk in this fabric gives it a beautiful drape and the creamsicle color will pop in pictures.
So the day has finally come. Time to put your game face on and make the bride your number one priority. It’s important to keep things in perspective and remember the role you signed up for. Your bride may be giddy with happiness or petrified with nerves—just be the friend she needs that day.
I’ll use photographs from the lovely Michele’s wedding to lay out how a traditional wedding day will unfold. This of course all flies out the window if your bride has planned a nontraditional ceremony. In that case, just be sure to communicate with her beforehand and know what she needs you to do.
So in our traditional scenario, bridesmaids are asked to meet several hours early to start getting ready. For a girl who can be dressed and out the door in fifteen minutes this may seem excessive, but you really will need the time if everyone is planning to get hair and makeup professionally done. Even if that’s not the case, remember that job of yours? Support. Your bride wants to be surrounded by her friends. Show up when she asks.
Ok, so the hair and makeup folks have arrived or you have broken out the curling irons and mascara yourself and the primping is under way. Wear a button-down shirt or loose top so that your hair and makeup won’t get messed up and you’ll be comfortable. What else should you do for the next couple hours? I’m partial to celebratory mimosas but I highly, highly recommend keeping drinking in check—one or two at most. If you start getting ready in the morning for an afternoon or evening wedding and drink at a steady pace, people will be wasted, tired and sloppy at the actual event. MOHs can coordinate with the bride’s mother to make sure there will be food for everyone. If Mom’s not planning to provide, make it your job to arrange this. You all need to eat at least something small. No one wants to pass out at the wedding. Youtube “bridesmaid fainting” for a preview of how that will go.
Holding the bride’s mimosa.
This is also a great time to present the bride with a small gift from her maids. For Michele, we got her an FSU garter. The bride may have favors for you as well (Michele made us beautiful bracelets to wear on the day!). Sometimes you’ll present the bride with a gift as a group, but I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary since you’ll already have given her shower/bachelorette/wedding gifts. One thing I always try to do though is bring a card for the bride and share a private moment with her. I like to include my thanks for asking me to be in her wedding, my excitement for the day and encouragement about the future. It’s a great way to share a personal moment before she gets swept up in the events of the ceremony and reception. I kind of cherish that getting ready time, because after that the bride is going to be bombarded by the other guests and you won’t have as much time with her.
Michele with her gift—an FSU garter.
After all the maids are dressed, you’ll help the bride into her gown. If she’s using a professional photographer they will probably be on hand at that point to capture the moment. For the next hour (or so) you’ll take pictures with the bride, either at the reception venue or the church. Some couples may choose to do a “first look,” in which case the whole wedding party will meet up and take photographs before the ceremony. If there’s no first look, you’ll be expected to take more pictures after the ceremony. Either way, you’re in for the long haul here. The MOH should stay with the bride at all times and make sure her dress and hair are always looking great. Carry her train for her if she has one and step in to fix problems if you see them (I don’t want to even get into the red underwear situation).
The first look!
After photographs it’s time for the ceremony! When processing down the aisle, adopt that time-honored BBQ slogan: slow and low. Walk slowly and carry your bouquet low, where your hands would sit naturally if you folded them in front. Higher will block your face and dress and just looks weird. The MOH holds the ring (if she has a pocket or place to keep it; if not sometimes the best man will carry both rings). She stands beside the bride, fixes her train and veil when the bride makes it down the aisle and holds the bride’s bouquet and her own throughout the ceremony. When the vows are said and the ceremony complete, the MOH, along with the Best Man, will sign the marriage license—the true reason we have attendants in the first place. They are our witnesses to the validity of the marriage!
Excellent bouquet form.
If your couple has planned post-ceremony pictures you’ll now partake in those. Then the wedding party heads to the reception. Some couples may want you to be formally introduced, in which case you’ll wait for the other guests to enter and then come into the reception as your names are announced. Sometimes the wedding party stands around the dance floor as the couple has their first dance, other times they might join in after a few bars or just take your seats. It’s a good idea to find out in the morning what your bride had planned for this, because in the moment she’s going to be a litttle preoccupied.
An enthusiastic introduction.
The bridal party gathers around during the first dance.
Then, unless you’re the MOH, your “official” duties have ended! Your unofficial duties: make sure guests are having a good time—point out wedding day events like photo booths or guest books, help pass out favors, lead dances if necessary, chat with lonely old ladies, if single cruise for eligible bachelors—you know the drill. If your bride has taken a more DIY approach, your work may only be beginning, but that’s really specific to each bride.
She doesn’t even know that woman (to my knowledge).
If you’re the MOH, you’ll need to give a speech. But more on that another time.
This week’s Fashion Friday is devoted to a genius concept: Little Borrowed Dress. It’s a bridesmaid boutique that gives you the option to rent or buy. Each season the company reveals a new original collection with 8-10 bridesmaid styles in cocktail and full length. This season the dresses are all done in light and airy silk chiffon with rental prices of $75 for short styles and $95 for long (between $250 and $300 to purchase). Dresses come laundered and pressed and will arrive a week before the wedding. You wear, then slip back into the prepaid envelope and return post-wedding. The company stresses that their dresses should not need alteration (read: no alterations allowed) and since all the styles are loose, A-line and/or empire-waisted I tend to think that would hold up. I particularly like the strapless Hillary shown in peony below. The one potential downfall I see is that since the dresses are made to fit any shape or size, some of them look a bit baggy on these models. Make sure to pay close attention to the fit guide or attend a trunk show if possible to try on the styles. The next event is in NYC on June 3. Click here for details.
This game can be hilarious and scandalous, but it won’t work for every bachelorette party. In order for the game to be effective, everyone in the group needs to know one another. If you’re bringing together different groups of friends (college, high school, work, etc), skip this one. This is also a good game to play midway through the night. Let’s say a few drinks in but before you head out to the club (or if you’re staying in, before things get sloppy and you start bringing up high school boyfriends or referencing incidents the bride maaaybe didn’t want mentioned…).
Anyway, here’s how to play.
Step 1. Have a couple drinks.
Step 2. Before the game, you’ll need a set of index cards and a pen. Everyone will need their own hand of cards with the names of each player on a card. So, if 7 girls are playing, each girl should hold seven cards, one for each of their fellow players and one with their own name. You can easily just scribble names on cards before you start, or if you want to get fancy, you could DIY a cool set of cards beforehand with colored paper, glitter, stickers, etc. It’s important that all the cards look the same from the back though so that no one will know which card you’re throwing down. Think deck of playing cards. Backs identical, fronts your call.
Step 3: Let the game begin! You can come up with your own idea of how to start: MOH first, bride first, youngest first. You choose. The first player presents a “Most Likely To…” situation, such as “Most Likely to Kiss a Total Stranger.” Then each player throws down the card of the person they think is “most likely to…” face down. The questioner gathers all the cards, flips them over and tallies them up. If you’re voted most likely, you drink and you also get to come up with the next scenario.
The results can be funny, sweet or revealing depending on the question. Part of the fun is just seeing who gets votes! Some scenarios will go almost exclusively to one player, but others will be split. Since you’re using the cards, you won’t know where the votes are coming from, which adds to the mystery. Unless you’re really sure your group can handle some darker questions, try to keep it friendly. For example, some groups would find “most likely to have a one-night stand” hilarious, but others would think it’s over the line. My advice is to use your judgment and steer the group away from stuff that might hurt feelings.
Here’s a list of Most Likely To… situations to get you thinking. Continue reading →
This Fashion Friday, I want to showcase two of my brides who chose amazing bridesmaid dresses. Unfortunately, both of these dresses were from Priscilla of Boston, which closed all its locations last year. I’ve scoured the web to see if the designer has moved to a new house or if the dresses can be reliably found at a discount retailer, but so far have had little to no luck. Still, I have to give credit to my two brides and show off their choices.
Amanda chose these beautiful purple gowns for her wedding. The neckline was really special and the fabric was light enough for summer but the silky blend fit her more formal affair perfectly.
We all adored the calla lily bouquets. The shoes on the other hand…let’s just say mine have not been seen since the wedding. If you are interested, you may be able to find them in the lobby of the Georgian Terrace Hotel in Atlanta.I have to show off a few pictures of my bride as well (here with her sister and MOH Emily).
So perfect! Amanda’s dress is also from Priscilla of Boston and is part of the Vineyard Collection.
Mr. and Mrs. make their entrance. I can’t believe they’ll be celebrating their one year anniversary soon!
Michele chose these floor-length black dresses that truly were flattering on every one of her bridesmaids. We all loved the empire waist and the fabric stayed wrinkle-free all night long.
The whole wedding party at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida.
We had a very difficult time getting the groomsmen to abandon their beers for this photo.
Michele’s dress was gorgeous too! It’s Paloma Blanca.
When it’s time to pick a theme for the shower, lingerie is going to come up inevitably. And it can be a really fun idea, but only if a couple very important factors line up. First, make sure that the bride will be comfortable with it. Not everyone likes the idea of handing out their sizes to their guests and unwrapping unmentionables while everyone looks on. Second, I recommend limiting lingerie showers to groups of girlfriends of around the same age. Chances are your bride will have at least one shower thrown by a parent or friend of the family and ladies of all age groups will be present. Some women may only know the bride through her mother or a relative. A lingerie shower in that instance is just going to get awkward.
If points one and two are met, full steam ahead! My friend Amanda had a lovely lingerie shower at her home in Atlanta, thrown by her amazing maid of honor and sister, Emily. Amanda’s shower was part of a combination bachelorette/bridal shower weekend since many of her close friends and bridesmaids (including me!) are spread out over the country.
The food theme was sweet and a little sinful (to fit the lingerie). While Amanda left the house to go for her hair trial, all the bridesmaids pitched in to prepare the food and decorate the house. Hosting the shower at home helps to greatly cut down the expense and also lowers the stress level. We were able to pump some music as we melted chocolate for chocolate-covered strawberry and fondue.
Emily broke out their family’s beautiful silver punch bowl and put together a family-favorite punch. The scoops of ice cream made it look a little crazy at first, but it tasted like heaven and as the ice cream melted it all came together.
Before Amanda arrived, a few of the bridesmaids decided to run to Wal-Mart for a few last-minute gag gifts…like the biggest Granny panties we could find in the store! We also picked up a little something for the groom—a pair of camo boxer-briefs and a matching camo bra for Amanda.
After all the gifts were opened, we strung them up on a clothesline for pictures. All the lacy things looked so cute hung up together (though we took them down before the groom got home—we wanted them to be a surprise!).
As for where to find bridal lingerie, I always try to skip Victoria’s Secret. They have some great pieces, but since it’s such a popular lingerie destination, you run the risk of ending up with duplicate gifts. Continue reading →
I have to show off a few pictures of my bride as well (here with her sister and MOH Emily).
