“Oh, you’ll totally be able to wear that again.” You’ve heard this a million times, right? And sure, you may have had the best of intentions. You may have really thought you’d be throwing on that pastel green chiffon dress every summer. You were totally going to get that floor-length number shortened. But despite your intentions, that bridesmaid dress hasn’t seen any action since wedding day. ModCloth can help you change that with this amazing styling session that transforms three bridesmaid looks into everyday outfits. The key is that the new looks aren’t formal at all—they take dresses that looked fancy on wedding day and style them for your real life…not just the other weddings you have to attend. To really get wear out of your bridesmaid dresses, they need to be able to go out to dinner, a bar or a concert. Check out the styling video below for three perfect examples.
And if you’re smitten, check out ModCloth’s entire collection of bridesmaid-worthy styles (did we mention how affordable they are??).
Photograph by Emily Delamater, via Style Me Pretty
Something that I spend a lot of time thinking about (so much time, you guys) is what the bridesmaid experience today is like. What kind of bridal showers are we throwing for our friends and what kind would we want for ourselves? Where are we spending our destination bachelorette weekends and will there be a stripper…or is that absolutely not going to happen? What do you love about being a bridesmaid and what do you most dread? You can answer as many or as few questions as you like in our anonymous 12 question survey. Just 12 questions! Questions apply to bridesmaids and brides past, present and future alike, so any lady will be able to answer. I can’t wait to share what we find!
I’m loving the trend of farm-to-table weddings, when couples highlight local produce not only in their meals but in their overall theme. So why not let the bridesmaid look be inspired by some of your favorite dishes as well? Charleston Chef Maya teamed up with Reese Moore Weddings and Fabulous Fete to envision four bridesmaid looks based on fresh, seasonal dishes. First up, roasted butternut squash on a smooth ricotta and goat cheese mousse inspired a soft neutral gown with pops of sunset orange and pink in the flowers.
On the Sunny Side
Next, the perfect yolks of these huevos rancheros on petite black bean cakes were the inspiration for the sunshine yellow dress and matching gerber daisies.
Melon Perfection
These gorgeous melon cocktails with serrano ham roses provide the perfect palette for a coral dress and bouquet of ombre roses.
From the Sea
Charleston is renowned for its oysters, so a classic Oysters Rockefeller couldn’t be missed. The delicate shellfish piled high with sautéed spinach that almost mimics seaweed beautifully complements a sea foam green dress.
Q: I’m the maid of honor in my best friend Ashley’s wedding this summer and four of her other friends are bridesmaids. I’m not close with any of them, but I’ve been trying to get them to help me with planning the shower. The all originally agreed to chip in, but now they hardly ever respond to my emails and when they do it’s usually to say that they’re too busy to help out. I know I can’t force these girls to be involved, but I just don’t understand why they won’t contribute at all!
A: First of all, I feel your pain. It’s difficult to be paired up with girls who you don’t know very well and who don’t seem to want to contribute beyond showing up on the wedding day. It can be especially hard when you aren’t close friends with the other bridesmaids, because you have no frame of reference on why they would act this way. You can’t help but think, are they always like this? It’s hard to know what’s causing this, but it could be that they just aren’t as interested in the details of the shower as you. If they’ve never been a bridesmaid before, they may be unfamiliar with what the duties involve outside of the wedding day. And there’s always the sticker shock of a first-time bridesmaid—cost is a tricky subject when budgets are tight and everyone is already paying big money for a dress or travel to the wedding.
That said, if the girls signed on to help and are now backing out, something is up. If you’ve had some negative interactions with them and feel like there’s tension between you and the other girls, then it could be helpful to try and start fresh. When you’re writing emails to them, try to always make it positive and about Ashley—that’s your connection. Be careful not to “blame” them or say anything that seems like an attack. Read your emails over before you send them and delete anything that sounds like criticism. They’ll never help you out if they think you’re against them or have turned into a “MOH-zilla.” You could send them an email that says something like this:
“Ashley’s shower is coming up and I’m really excited to share this special day with her and all her best girl friends! There are still a few things that need to get done before the party. I’m hoping that we can split these up and would really appreciate your help. I know Ashley is going to be so surprised and touched with everything we’re planning and I think she’d love for everyone to be involved. I can’t wait to see her face when she sees [detail from the shower]. Here’s a list of what we need to get done. Can you all let me know what you’d be able to help with? I can’t believe there are only a few weeks until the wedding! Email or text back soon so we can get everything set. Thanks!”
If you only go to the other bridesmaids for the necessities there may also be less drama. Try to send only a few emails and keep them polite, but short and to the point: what you need from them and when you need to know.
If it seems like you’re way past this point or you’ve tried something like that in the past with no luck, another option is to move forward with limited interaction with the other girls. It isn’t required for all the bridesmaids to contribute to the shower and the person who throws a shower varies in every scenario. While some groups will have the bridesmaids band together, other times just the maid of honor throws the shower or it could be thrown by a relative or family friend. It’s tough to take on the burden of planning everything, but you may have to just accept that you’re going to do the bulk of the work.
Next, ask yourself if there’s a person you’ve overlooked who could be an asset. Do you and Ashley have a mutual friend who is not a bridesmaid but will be coming to the shower and wedding? If so, see if you can recruit her to help you with the plans. It wouldn’t be appropriate to ask her to help pay for the shower, but she could be a big help with making decisions, putting things together, decorating…whatever needs to get done to make this shower happen! You could also find an ally in the bride’s mom. If you need help, reach out to her to see if she’d be willing to cohost the shower with you or give her input on the details.
Lastly and I think most importantly, no matter what try to maintain a civil relationship with the other bridesmaids. I know that’s hard when you’re tearing your hair out, but it’s the best thing you can do for your friend. I always try to tell myself that whatever stress I’m feeling about the wedding, the bride’s has got to be 10 times worse. The last thing I’d want to do is add to her stress by creating a bridesmaid infight. When you want to explode at the other girls, just remember that the bride must like them for some reason! Concentrate on Ashley and try to just let the other stuff go. In the end, the day’s about her—but you already know that.
Have a tough question you’d like to submit for the next Ultimate Bridesmaid Q&A? Leave it anonymously in the comments or email us at ultimatebridesmaid@gmail.com.
I’m so excited to share that today is the one year anniversary of Ultimate Bridesmaid. A year ago when I started sharing my own bridesmaid experiences, I had no idea how this blog would grow and come to mean so much to me. My first day when I received a couple dozen visitors that seemed wonderful. Today, I receive thousands of visitors each day. I took a screenshot the day my pageview ticker reached 100,000, but I’ve since seen it skyrocket to over 400,000. I’ve connected with other amazing bloggers and wedding professionals on my Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook pages. I’m grateful to all the amazing photographers who have shared their work with me; the bridesmaids and brides who have submitted stories, dress reviews and images from their showers and parties; and the artists and vendors who have worked with me and been so generous with their time and advice.
I have big plans for year two and hope you’ll all be with me for the ride. Over the next week I have lots of posts planned to look back on the year, including the top 10 posts of the year, some of my favorite images from bridal showers and bachelorette parties, and much more.
Q: As a member of the wedding party, can I bring a date? And more importantly, should I? I know I’ll be with the bride for long periods of time, so what can I do to make the wedding a good experience for my date too?
A: If you’re not seeing someone on a steady basis and you’re a member of the wedding party, I’d strongly recommend not inviting a date. The demands of being a bridesmaid will keep you away from your guest for a fair amount of time, so it’s not a good venue to test a new relationship. Likewise, you’ll be surrounded by girlfriends, so there’s no chance you’ll feel left out without a date.
If you do have a significant other, ask yourself a few very important questions before asking them to come to the wedding. First, ask your bride what the seating arrangement will be at the reception. Very few brides insist on the old-fashioned head-table set-up, but if your bride wants this traditional format, then the wedding party is seated apart from their dates. This means that the day of the wedding you’ll probably say goodbye to your date early in the morning to get ready with the bride and not meet up with them again until the dancing starts after dinner.
The next question you should ask yourself: Does my date know anyone at the wedding who they can hang out with? Continue reading →
Today on Ultimate Bridesmaid we welcome guest poster Tara from Spotofteadesigns.com. I was totally inspired by Tara’s super-creative shower gift—A Year of Date Nights! See how she pulled it off below.
Hello UB followers! My name is Tara and I’m the T of Spotofteadesigns.com! Since 2010, I will have been involved in 6 weddings as a bridesmaid, maid of honor and a bride-to-be for my upcoming September wedding. Needless to say I’m in full-on wedding mode these days! As a bridesmaid, I’m used to the plan to chip in for an expensive item off the bride’s registry, but in one particular case, all the big ticket items were already taken. We came up with another plan.
As a big Pinterest user, I was very excited to come across this post from Shannon Brown’s Life in General Blog. She gave her husband a Christmas gift that included 12 envelopes of planned dates for the full year. I loved this concept and used it as inspiration for my bride’s group gift, which we nicknamed A Year of Date Nights.
At her shower, Allie, the bride, was only able to open a large box containing all the wrapped gifts you see above, and a descriptive poem explaining the concept. Each month after their wedding, Allie and her hubby, Tim, are allowed to open that month’s gift. Upon reading it, they’ll be able to pick a day on their calendar to enjoy the date. Since the couple only wed in May, as of this post only 2 gifts have been opened that I can share.For June, Allie and Tim opened a mini pizza box containing an empty frozen yogurt container. Inside they received gift cards for dinner and dessert at their local pizza and froyo locations.
For July, they opened a handmade card with a gift card to Wegmans. They were instructed to buy some steaks and trimmings, then enjoy a sunny BBQ for two on their backyard patio.
Not all her gifts had to do with food, but I can’t reveal the rest until they open the gifts as the months pass.
Below are a few suggestions for other bridesmaids who might want to make their own Year of Date Nights gift: Continue reading →
