Category Archives: Bridesmaids

Rent Designer Bridesmaid Dresses with Style the Aisle

Let’s face it—picking out and purchasing a bridesmaid dress doesn’t often top your list of favorite bridesmaid duties. Prices can be sky high and no matter how many times we say we’ll wear them again, we rarely do. Enter Style the Aisle, a genius bridesmaid dress rental company stocking some of the top styles from designer bridesmaid lines like Lula Kate and Johanna August. I asked cofounder Erica Gellerman to share a bit of background on how Style the Aisle came to be, which designers are next on her wish list—and what bridesmaid traditions she loves (and can’t stand).

So tell me, how did Style the Aisle begin?
My good friend Meaghan [and now Style the Aisle cofounder] was married two years before I was and during planning I asked her for a lot of advice. After my wedding, we started talking about what the most frustrating part of the wedding process was and I said that for me it was picking the bridesmaid dresses. That really struck a chord with her and we started to brainstorm what would have made finding the right dresses easier. With that, we came up with the idea for Style the Aisle.

How did you choose dresses for your own bridesmaids? Was it difficult to find something that ticked all the boxes?
It was incredibly difficult! That’s really what started the business. When I was planning my wedding, I lived in North Carolina and my bridesmaids were scattered around California, which made trying on dresses together nearly impossible. I also really wanted to keep the dresses affordable while still being gorgeous. I knew they likely would only wear them once, so price was really important to me. I scoured the internet and actually did look for bridesmaid dress rental options, but I didn’t find anything that was quite right. In the end, we chose cocktail dresses that everyone could buy online, but they weren’t the perfect dresses.

Tell me about the process of choosing designers for Style the Aisle. Who is on your list of dream designers to add?
Choosing designers was such a fun process. Meaghan and I already had a list of designers we admired, but we wanted to do thorough research. We bought stacks of magazines and scoured the blogs pulling out any dresses we loved. After that, we made a prioritized list and started reaching out to them one by one. We weren’t sure what to expect, but to our surprise, everyone was really friendly and interested in the idea.
Our next priority is adding on dresses from our current designers. They have such beautiful collections and we really offer such a small taste of their gorgeous dresses. So before adding anyone else we want to make sure we’re doing justice to their collection and brand. After that, we have a pretty short list of designers we want to add, but on the top of the list is Amsale and Jenny Yoo.

What has been the most exciting or rewarding moment of launching Style the Aisle so far?
I would have to say our best moment so far was the moment when our first order came in. It was such an exciting moment to sit back and realize that a perfect stranger had seen what we were doing loved it, and trusted us enough to dress her bridal party. We also get so excited every time we get an email or a photo from a bride after a wedding. It makes us remember exactly why we started this business.

What bridesmaid trend or tradition do you love the most?
It’s not so much one tradition that I love the most, but I love all of the festivities where you can really celebrate your friendships and spend quality time with the amazing ladies in your wedding. These are the people who know you best and who have been with you through all of your highs and lows over the past years. I love celebrating those special friendships as well as celebrating the excitement of your marriage.

Ok, we have to know the flip side…which bridesmaid trend or tradition would you like to see disappear?
All of the drama and headache that goes into bridesmaid dress shopping!

One last question: I see that you’re a Duke fan. I went to Wake Forest undergrad. Can we still be friends? Also, name one thing you miss the most from North Carolina.
I think so…but definitely not in March.
There are so many things I miss about North Carolina, but number one is the BBQ! I also miss the gorgeous trees and picturesque country roads; it’s such a beautiful place.

Photography: Caroline Lima Photography | Dresses: Kirribilla for Style the Aisle

For more on renting bridesmaid dresses from Style the Aisle, check out all the details and browse their collections here.

An Adventure Awaits Travel Bridal Shower

One of the defining moments in my relationship with my boyfriend, Andrew, was a trip we took to Iceland after only a few months of dating. From exploring glaciers and hiking by waterfalls to almost stranding our rental car on the black sand beach, the adventure brought us close together. So when I saw this Adventure Awaits travel-themed shower captured by photographer and the bride’s future sister-in-law Aly Carroll, I was immediately smitten. Bride Natalie’s bridesmaids and family rummaged through their houses for vintage suitcases, cameras and globes to set the world-traveling mood. Each table centerpiece included a tag marking a milestone or special memory in the couple’s relationship, from their first date to running a triathlon together in Lima, Peru. Guests enjoyed a yogurt and treat bar complete with berry baskets and a nude cake from The Bake Shoppe (love this trend, by the way—down with fondant!). Even the games had an international theme, as guests were challenged to translate different words and phrases based on the theme of “love.” Me encanta!

Photography: Aly Carroll Photography | Invitations: BeyondDigital | Florals and Event Design: Shelly Sarver Designs | Cupcakes: Mama CT’s Cupcakes | Cake: The Bake Shoppe | Venue: Evangelical Covenant Church, Des Moines | Decor: Target, Hobby Lobby, vintage items from family and friends

Frock + Flowers // Gold Dress + White Bouquet

What flowers should you pair with a gold bridesmaid dress? Frock + Flowers // Gold dresses with white flowers with pops of pale pink and orange

Frock + Flowers is your guide for choosing which flowers to pair with your bridesmaid dresses. For this inaugural Frock + Flowers post, I paired gold metallic dresses with light-colored flowers in whites with pops of pale pink and orange. Gold is such a glamorous choice for a bridesmaid dress, but the light bouquets add a softness and femininity when paired with this sexy shade. It’s the perfect way to ground the sparkle, especially for a daytime or outdoor wedding in the spring and summer.

Frock: Gold, metallic dresses

Flowers: White bouquets with pops of pale pink and orange

The vibe: Soft glamour, subtle sparkle

Image credits: Top left: 100 Layer Cake | Top right: Style Me Pretty | Bottom left: Elizabeth Anne Designs | Bottom right: 100 Layer Cake

The Best of Ultimate Bridesmaid’s Year 2

— year two milestones —

This year, Ultimate Bridesmaid hit 1,000,000 views…on my birthday. That’s right, folks. While I was snowed in at a Poconos resort (true story), blissfully avoiding contact with my email and the Internet, the blog dial quietly rolled over 1 million visitors. And in the four short months since, we’re already edging up on 1,500,000—which means over 100,000 people are visiting each month! Thank you so much! I can’t even explain how grateful I am to those of you who check in and have followed along on my adventure in blogging.

— all-time top posts —

These two posts bring in over half of the traffic to Ultimate Bridesmaid, through both Pinterest and organic searches. The Ultimate Maid of Honor Speech held the title of #1 last year as well, but 5 Bridal Shower Games That Don’t Suck made a serge this year (and seems poised to pass). I said this last year and I’ll say it again: Seeing that the top posts on the blog are articles I’ve written and put a lot of my honest opinion and heartfelt advice into means a lot to me. Putting together party features and inspiration boards is incredibly fun and, I’ll admit it, kind of easy. But the stats don’t lie. The posts you come to the most often are the advice and tutorial posts—meaning the ones I spend weeks on, the ones with few to no pictures (but still something pinnable—always something pinnable!), the ones that get to the heart of real issues and offer actionable advice. The parties make the blog look pretty, but these posts are its heart.

A great example of this is a post that did surprisingly well this year: an article on how to tell a friend she’s not one of your bridesmaids. While it wasn’t in the top 10, it did extremely well for what I thought would be kind of a niche topic. I wrote it based on a reader question, because I thought it seemed like a legitimate issue and something that would require delicacy and might cause brides a lot of stress and strain friendships. And it’s obviously true, because that post didn’t get buried in the archive—far from it! Ultimate Bridesmaid has always been about the positive aspects of being a bridesmaid: celebrating friendship, creating memorable occasions, enjoying special moments with your best friends (and yeah, cute dresses too). But there’s way more to being a bridesmaid than the fun stuff and I always try to help you through the tough moments so you can get to the champagne and glitter with your friendship and sanity intact.

your new favorites this year

Many of the articles in the top 10 posts from our first year made the list again, but rather than repeat, I wanted to highlight a few new posts that were top performers this year. In fact, one of these even shot up to the fourth most-viewed post on the site!

21 Spectacular Bridal Shower Themes

Everyone needs a little inspiration to get the creative juices flowing. Instead of letting you default to bridal tea party (though if that’s your cup of tea, cheers!), I pulled together a list of 21 spectacular bridal shower themes to help you personalize this pre-wedding bash. (Apologies for tea puns.)

The Bridesmaid Packing List for the Wedding Day

The bridesmaid packing list for the wedding day

Detailing everything you need for her big day, this packing list is meant to help you get organized and arrive at her wedding with everything you need, plus a few helpful tips to make the day go smoothly. As the number four all-time favorite post on the site, it’s no surprise that a few readers chimed in with amazing suggestions to expand the list. Thank you all!

Wine Basket Bridal Shower Gift

This post was a treat to write because I got to partner with my creative friend Amanda, who wrote eight original poems for this classic bridal shower gift. A bottle of wine celebrates eight milestones in their marriage, from the honeymoon to their first house to a random night of romance. Free printables included!

A Guide to Bridesmaid Dress Fabrics and Finishes

A guide to bridesmaid dress fabrics and finishes

This post technically went up in our first year, but it really took off this year, with lots of you weighing in on your favorite fabrics and asking questions about avoiding sweat marks and pulling off mixing fabrics. I also updated the article this year with a few new fabrications (well, not newly created, just new to the list), like mikado and faille.

— your favorite showers and parties —

I love, love sharing real bridal showers and bachelorette parties. I feel excited about every single party I’ve shared because each one is just so personal and unique. That’s the number one factor that goes into selecting the parties featured here. Is the bride’s personality and style reflected in this party? Is a little bit of happiness rubbing off on me just from looking at the pictures? Here are a few of your favorites, plus the details I personally love.

A Rustic Vintage Bridal Shower in Utah
A Rustic Vintage Bridal Shower | Ultimate Bridesmaid | Alixann Loosle PhotographyHighlights:
The classiest lace panty display I’ve ever seen
The creative photo display made using a glass jug and tree branches
Potted succulent party favors displayed on vintage luggage—need I say more?

A Glitter Bachelorette Shoot in South Carolina

A Glitter Bachelorette Party in South Carolina | Ultimate Bridesmaid | Paige Winn PhotographyHighlights:
Biodegradable glitter
Some seriously stylish metallic dresses
A stunning diamond ring buried in all that confetti

A Kitschy-Cute 50s Housewife Bridal Shower

A Kitchsy-Cute 50s Housewife Bridal Shower | Ultimate Bridesmaid | Lovely Bee PhotographyHighlights:
Four words: grilled cheese food truck
Dress-form cakes sporting vintage blue and red frocks
Patterned aprons and wooden spoon party favors

A Sunshine and Wine Bridal Party Luncheon

A Sunshine and Wine Bridal Luncheon | Ultimate Bridesmaid | Sorella Muse Photography

Highlights:
The bride’s stylish white knit dress
The thoughtful bridesmaid gift bags complete with Toms, Stella and Dot earrings and more
Wine, cheese and that epic submarine sandwich

A Chic Chevron and Stripe Handmade Bridal Shower

Highlights: Chevron, floral, polka dots, stripes—so many stunning patterns!
The cookbook guest book

Thank you all for an amazing second year. I’m grateful to all the amazing photographers who have shared their work with me; the bridesmaids and brides who have submitted stories and images from their showers and parties; and the artists and vendors who have worked with me and been so generous with their time and advice. I can’t wait to see what year three brings!

ModCloth’s Tips for Styling a Bridesmaid Dress After the Wedding

“Oh, you’ll totally be able to wear that again.” You’ve heard this a million times, right? And sure, you may have had the best of intentions. You may have really thought you’d be throwing on that pastel green chiffon dress every summer. You were totally going to get that floor-length number shortened. But despite your intentions, that bridesmaid dress hasn’t seen any action since wedding day. ModCloth can help you change that with this amazing styling session that transforms three bridesmaid looks into everyday outfits. The key is that the new looks aren’t formal at all—they take dresses that looked fancy on wedding day and style them for your real life…not just the other weddings you have to attend. To really get wear out of your bridesmaid dresses, they need to be able to go out to dinner, a bar or a concert. Check out the styling video below for three perfect examples.

And if you’re smitten, check out ModCloth’s entire collection of bridesmaid-worthy styles (did we mention how affordable they are??).

A Vintage Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower

Channeling a time when cocktails and fancy dress went hand in hand, this happy hour shower is both glamorous and intimate all at once. The inspiration for this shower’s blush and metallic color palette and midcentury vibe came from bride Lauren’s collection of gilded vintage glassware, as well as her striking vintage V-back dress. Lauren’s business partner and friend, Rachel of Sweet Root Village, lined the fireplace with tall mirrored vases overstuffed with soft coral, pale pink and fuchsia roses. Guests at this “little black dress gathering” were greeted with a hand-lettered name tag for their glass of honey green tea fizz or raspberry wine zinger. Rachel explains how the shower’s showstopper—Lauren’s stunning oversized corsage—came to be.

“Lauren bought this beautiful vintage dress that for a time she planned to use as her wedding gown. She had it altered to have more of a cap sleeve, with a low back and a pencil-skirt bottom. The style was very old-fashioned and classy and corsages were all the rage back in the day. Corsages were definitely a bit larger in the past, so we tried to go in that direction but even more so, creating a cross between a typical corsage and a flower crown. Lauren built it herself and we attached it carefully to her dress.”
–Rachel, Sweet Root Village

Venue: Sweet Root Village Studio | Flowers, Photography, Styling, Invitation and Paper Products: Sweet Root Village | Photography Assistance: Rebekah Murray | Dress: Vintage Mirage | Hair: Sugar House | Makeup: Sarah Patch | Vintage Glassware: The bride’s personal collection

Bridal Shower 101: Hosting, Etiquette, Party Planning, Gifts and More

Bridal Shower 101: Questions answered on hosting, etiquette, party planning, gifts and moreSo who hosts the bridal shower and who is responsible for the cost? Who should be invited and how many bridal showers is too many? How much should you spend on a shower gift—and do you have to send one if you aren’t attending? Should we surprise the bride? Can the groom attend? You’ve got questions about etiquette, themes, games, food, hosting and attending a bridal shower—we’ve got answers.

The Basics

Who hosts the bridal shower?
The bridal shower is traditionally hosted by the maid of honor, the bridesmaids or a family friend or relative of the bride. A lot of factors come into play: where is the ideal location for the shower, when will most people be able to attend, who is financially able to host the party? A good rule to remember: Hosting a shower is a choice, not an obligation. If the maid of honor has offered to host the shower, she may ask the rest of the bridesmaids to cohost—but they do not have to say yes. Other relatives or friends may also offer to throw a bridal shower and the bride may accept or decline. In the past, it was considered a faux pas for a direct member of the bride’s family to host as this was seen as “present grabbing.” But even the maven of manners herself, Ms. Emily Post, now says that it’s perfectly fine for your mother or future mother-in-law to throw the shower.

Who should be invited?
The bride should provide the host with a guest list. Important to note: Only ladies who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Though you may be tempted to invite the friends who didn’t make the wedding list cut to your shower, this is considered rude and puts friends in an awkward position. You’d basically be saying “please get me a present, but sorry, you can’t come to the wedding.” Showers are generally attended by a select group of close friends and relatives, so you should not invite every woman who is attending the wedding.

Who pays for the bridal shower?
The host is responsible for paying for the shower. This goes back to our rule on hosting being a choice, not an obligation. If the bridesmaids have agreed to cohost, they should split the costs of the shower…but they are not hosts by default. This differs from how bachelorette parties are handled—typically each attendee pays her own way at a bachelorette party, chipping in for food, drinks and whatever activities are going down. At a bridal shower, whoever is throwing the party is expected to pick up the bill.

What is my role as a bridesmaid in terms of the shower?
You may choose to cohost a shower…or not. If the bride has multiple showers, you will probably be invited to all and if it is possible for you to attend them, you should. (See below on gifting for multiple showers.) If you don’t live geographically near the bride, you should only attend one shower…if that. I personally make it a rule to only buy two plane tickets per wedding—one for the wedding itself and one for a bachelorette and/or bridal shower. Air travel is expensive and friends get that. If the bachelorette is not being held the same weekend as the bridal shower and you are financially unable to or uncomfortable with attending both, talk to the bride and pick one. All of my friends have 100 percent understood this and have wanted me there for their bachelorette weekends—and we usually choose to throw a small shower during the bachelorette weekend anyway, even if the bride has had other showers with family or local friends.

When and where should the shower be held?
The bridal shower is usually held three months or less before the wedding. Consult with the bride and bridal party to pick a convenient date. I recommend that the bridal shower be no less than one month before the wedding. The bride is going to have a lot of details to attend to in the last month before the wedding and will appreciate having her weekends free. As to location, showers are most often held at the home of the host, but can also be held at a restaurant or winery, in a park, at a hotel, or really anywhere you like. Just keep in mind that no matter where you hold the shower, the host still must pick up the bill. You can’t ask guests to pay for an activity at the shower.

What should you do at a bridal shower?
Many people choose to host a shower at home, serve food and drinks and play a game or two. You can also plan an activity, such as a cooking class or crafting session, or have the shower at a special location, like a winery or day spa. Plan a party that appeals to the bride’s tastes and interests. Don’t just go through the motions of “bridal shower traditions”—make it special and personal to her. Throw the kind of party you want to attend!

Can you have more than one shower?
Yes, you can—on one condition. With the exceptions of your bridesmaids and direct relatives (mother, mother-in-law, sisters, grandma), the guest lists should not overlap. If multiple people offer to host showers, you are welcome to accept, but they should be from different spheres of your life and plan to invite different groups. Perhaps your aunt wants to throw a shower for your extended family and invite your mother’s close friends, but your bridesmaids want to throw a shower for your college girlfriends to attend. If two people who would invite the same guests offer to host the shower, politely decline one offer (“Oh, that’s so wonderful of you to offer, but my MOH has started to plan already. I can’t wait to see you there!”) or see if the two would like to host together.

What about a work shower?
Work showers are the exception to the “must be invited to the wedding” rule. Generous coworkers may offer to throw a shower for you, either during work or after hours. In this case, it is understood that you won’t be inviting all the shower guests to the wedding. Work showers are often much more casual than a regular shower—gifts may be much smaller or everyone may go in on a gift card for the bride.

Should the shower be a surprise?
My feeling on this is no, the bridal shower should not be a surprise. Brides want to look beautiful at their showers. They want to pick out a pretty dress and maybe even get their hair done. They do not want to be coming home from the grocery store in their sweats to find 30 people in their house. If you really want to surprise the bride, tell her the date and time of the shower and keep the details a secret. That way she can relax knowing she’ll look good. Even if you go this route, I think you should consult her on guest list. She may be disappointed that you didn’t include certain friends or you may inadvertently offend someone by overlooking a touchy relative. Keeping the theme, location and events a secret will be enough of a surprise.

Can I throw a co-ed shower?
Of course! Choosing to throw a co-ed shower is a personal decision for the bride and groom. One of my favorite co-ed shower ideas is a field day competition—heck, I’d do this with just girls too! But pitting the bridesmaids against the groomsmen in sack races and capture the flag? Yes, please!

Can the groom come to the shower if it’s not co-ed?
It’s my feeling that the groom should not come to the shower if it’s not co-ed. I think people look forward to getting to spend time with just the bride—and part of the fun of getting her away from her fiance is being able to dish about him when he’s not around. That said, it has become a bit of a modern tradition for the groom to make an appearance at the end of the shower and bring the bride flowers. If you do this, be sure to say hello to all the guests—don’t just show up, wave and then bolt. This can be a good opportunity for guests who have never met the groom to get to know him a bit before the wedding day.

Can I have a “no kids” rule at my shower?
Of course you can! It’s your shower. If you think kids will be a distraction, know that certain guests do not have well-behaved children or just want some adult fun time, reach out to those with children to let them know the party will be adults only. If you go this route, make sure there are no exceptions—if your friend can’t bring her holy terror of a son, your sister can’t bring your adorable niece.

Themes and Party Planning

Should the bridal shower have a theme?
Themes are an easy way to give you direction when you are planning the shower, but you can also choose a color or pattern as the inspiration for your decor. Just concentrate on creating a party that fits the bride’s personality, whether that means a casual backyard fiesta or a modern sparkly soiree.

What are some good shower themes?
When it’s time to choose a bridal shower theme, think about your friend’s interests and passions and see if one would translate into a great bridal shower theme. Don’t throw a tea party just because it’s the first idea that pops into your head—go for the tea party theme if your friend can’t get enough of all things British, brews her own loose tea or collects vintage teapots. Need some inspiration? We’ve got 21 spectacular bridal shower themes for you right here or check out some of the real bridal showers featured here.

Should I send out printed invitations?
That’s up to you. Most bridal showers I’ve been to have had a printed invite. It’s a nice keepsake and doesn’t have to be too expensive. You can find beautiful shower invitations on Wedding Paper Divas or through some amazing Etsy vendors. If you don’t choose to use printed invites, I love Paperless Post for chic digital invitations. Whether you go digital or physical, invitations should be sent out about one month before the shower.

Gifts

What is traditionally given as a bridal shower gift?
Many bridal showers have a present theme, such as lingerie, cooking, home goods, bar supplies or items for the honeymoon. Group gifts are also popular at bridal showers. You can go in with the other bridesmaids to schedule a year of date nights or put together a wine basket with poems attached for notable events in the couple’s first year of marriage. If there’s no shower theme, you can always choose something from the bride’s wedding registry.

How much should I spend on a shower gift?
This is a personal decision, but my recommendation is to shoot for the $30 to $50 range. Another lovely (and inexpensive) shower gift is to create a friendship scrapbook for the bride. Before the shower, each guest decorates a scrapbook page with their favorite pictures and memories of their friendship with the bride. On shower day, the pages can be slid into an album to create a wonderful keepsake for the bride.

As a bridesmaid, I’m attending multiple showers. Do I need to bring a gift to all of them?
No, you do not (and should not). Bring a gift to the first shower you attend. After that, your presence is all that’s required. If you feel weird showing up empty-handed, bring a card to the other showers with a funny or sweet note to the bride.

Does the bride have to open all the gifts at the shower?
I had so much to say about this that I wrote a whole post about it. Short answer: Yes, you need to open the presents while the guests are there so that you can thank them, but you don’t have to make it boring. No one likes watching people open presents for two hours. It is the worst part of bridal showers. So here are some ideas for making the present unwrapping portion of your party less painful for your guests.

If I’m not able to attend the shower, should I still send a gift?
If you can’t attend the shower, you are not obligated to send a gift. If you do want to send something along, I love this idea for a mail-away shower in which guests who couldn’t attend all sent a book they thought would be useful to the bride, with topics ranging from cookbooks to personal finances.

Should there be party favors for the guests?
A small favor is lovely if possible and it doesn’t have to be expensive. My recommendation for choosing a bridal shower favor? Don’t brand it with the bride’s name or wedding date. I know that a lot of people choose to do this, but I never end up using these gifts because I don’t want to advertise your wedding around my house. That would be kinda weird. Make shower favors something I’ll actually enjoy or use. For a cooking shower, a nice wooden spoon is a perfect and useful gift. At a tea party, send me home with a fragrant bag of Earl Grey leaves. You can always add a tag to the gift with “Trisha’s Bridal Shower” to tie in the shower theme. I’ll snap a pic of your cute wrapping and get to enjoy my gift long after the party.

Games

Do we have to play games?
No, you don’t. (Everyone’s like, “WHAT?!?”) It’s true that most showers incorporate games, but there’s no shower goddess who’s going to rain fire down on your party if someone doesn’t get wrapped in toilet paper. Think about incorporating an activity, like wine tasting, a spa treatment or pottery painting, instead of the typical shower games. Or just eat, drink and chat it up—what lady wouldn’t be into that!

What are some fun bridal shower games?
A classic and actually truly enjoyable bridal shower game is the Fiance Quiz. I legitimately always enjoy this game because it’s amusing and you learn a lot about the groom. And I have 5 other bridal shower games (that don’t suck) for you as well. Remember that people want to eat, drink, and chat, not have a regimented schedule of enforced games, so just choose a few to sprinkle in. And have prizes! People are more likely to take interest if there’s chocolate involved.

Food
Bridal Shower 101: Everything You Need To Know About Hosting, Etiquette, Party Planning, Gifts and More

What kind of food should be served?
Yum-yum kind! Ok, but serious answer. Bridal showers are usually held in the morning or afternoon, so plan your menu accordingly. Buffet style is common to allow guests to mingle and chat, but a seated meal works for a tea party or showers held at a restaurant. And we are ladies, and ladies like sweets, so please serve us dessert as well.

Is alcohol served at a bridal shower?
It’s perfectly fine to serve alcohol at a bridal shower (but not mandatory…unless it is my bridal shower, in which case break out the champagne!). Mimosas are lovely for brunch and wine or a signature cocktail is delightful for lunch. Serve what feels right for your bride.