Category Archives: Bridesmaids

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

Not every bride wants lace and glitter. This quirky card is sweet and simple with cheeky lips and mustache and a delicate dotted and filigree border.

This shimmering letterpress option is simple yet striking. The metallic diamond is bold and striking against the natural grain of the paper and the typography screams Deco chic.

Let’s get serious. Nothing says “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” like a bottle of wine. These peel-and-stick labels can be customized with your name and wedding colors, then apply to the wine of your choice. You could also adapt these to be a thank you gift to your maids on the day of the wedding by asking for a design that says “Thank you for being my bridesmaid.”

A card after my own bibliophile heart! This personalized crossword puzzle comes with the answers printed on the back and can be customized to your wedding colors.

Bold typography, a cute arrow motif and customizable color palettes with names like “sugar plum” or “lemon squeeze” make this card cute as can be.

5 Simple Bridal Shower Games (that don’t suck)

Bridal shower games are not mandatory, but they can help break up the day and be funny and cute. Save the racy stuff for the bachelorette though. At a bridal shower, you’re going to need activities that work for a mixed group of ages. Remember that people want to eat, drink, and chat, not have a regimented schedule of enforced games, so just choose a few to sprinkle in. And have prizes! People are more likely to take interest if there’s chocolate involved.

Bridezilla

Before the shower, make the most hideous veil you can with a cheap tiara, glitter, different colors of tulle—whatever you can muster. Then once all the guests have arrived, tell them that the word “wedding” and “bride” are banned. If you use one of the words, you are Bridezilla and have the wear the veil until someone else slips up! During your time as Bridezilla you are encouraged to add to the veil to make it more hideous if possible.

Ring Hunt

Hide fake diamond engagement rings around the house and tell the guests to collect them throughout the party and put them on as they find them. The guests wearing the most rings at the end of the party wins. This one is simple, non-invasive and will lead to plenty of cute pictures.

Chick Flick Charades

We all know how to play charades. But raise the bar by banning the typical tactic of acting out the words in the title. Instead, pairs of guests have to act out a scene from different chick flicks. You’ll end up reenacting the Katz’s Deli scene from When Harry Met Sally, snapping a jewelry box closed as Julia Roberts reaches for her necklace in Pretty Woman, or trying to jump into Patrick Swayze’s arms for Dirty Dancing. If both players claim to have never seen the film and thus cannot act out a scene, let them default to the title, but make sure you appropriately shame them for neglecting to watch You’ve Got Mail. You can also opt for a tiered point system: 1 point for just acting out the title, 2 points for a scene, and 5 points for acting out the entire movie in less than two minutes. Some other flicks to throw in: My Best Friend’s Wedding, Runaway Bride, 27 Dresses, Sleepless in Seattle, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Something’s Got to Give, Love Actually, Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Two Truths and a Lie

Guests take turns sharing two truths and a lie about the bride. It’s a good idea to announce this game early in the shower so guests have time to think of good facts. Maybe bring it up before lunch or dinner is served or before you open presents. The facts can be about their friendship or history with the bride—they’ve been friends for 15 years, they taught the bride how to drive, they shared a lost weekend in Myrtle Beach—or a little known fact about the bride—the details of her first kiss, what she really thought of her groom when she first met him, her biggest pet peeve. Everyone else writes down the number of the fact they think is false. Those who get it right get a little prize or a point and most points win at the end. Remember to keep this PG-13 if you’re in a shower with mixed age groups or that includes relatives or coworkers of the bride who may not need to know about her scandalous behavior in college…or six months ago.

Purse Scavenger Hunt

This game may seem too simple or overdone, but in this version you add an element of urgency. In the typical game you get a point for each item that you have, but in this version it’s the first person to find the item who wins. Watching women frantically rifle through their purses is what makes it funny. People will know they have that peppermint but they just can’t find it!

Come up with a list of items a woman might have in her purse. The host reads the items aloud and the first person to fish that item out of her purse gets a prize. You can also give out small prizes for each item, but then designate points to each item for a big reward at the end. Make sure it’s on a sliding scale so that easy items like wallet and keys get one point and harder ones like dog treat, pepper spray or corkscrew get more. Here’s a fun sample list. You’ll be surprised how many of these people have in their purses!

Wallet, keys, cell phone, mirror, lip gloss, foundation, mascara, deodorant, hairbrush, tweezers, umbrella, book, pepper spray, dog treat, condom, tampon, Advil, band-aid, stomach medicine, underwear, scissors, a Groupon, a stamp, a mint, a bottle of water, USB flash drive, a $50 bill, a menu, stain remover and bottle opener. You can also throw in a few things that require a little bit of extra effort. For example: a picture of the bride. Someone’s got to have it on their phone, right? A cup of coffee will have clever people riffling through their wallets for their Starbucks gift card.

Sorry for the short break…

Ultimate Bridesmaid has been off the radar for a few days now as New York City recovers from Hurricane Sandy. I am very lucky to live in an area of the city that remained largely untouched, with just some very high winds and lots of downed trees. We had power throughout the storm and the businesses in our neighborhood were true heroes, keeping food and water on the shelves throughout the disaster. The power returned to lower Manhattan yesterday and the city is starting to feel normal again as subway service returns and most people prepare to return to work on Monday. I’ve been working from a satellite office in midtown since Thursday with the J.Crew catalog team, trying to catch up on the time lost during the disaster. My heart goes out to all those whose homes were damaged and who are still without power, food or water.

J.Crew’s makeshift office in midtown.

In an ironic twist, I did actually experience a bridesmaid-related emergency over the past few days! A friend emailed to say that her bridesmaid dress was trapped in a closed tailor’s shop below 14th street that was without power. She put out an all-points bulletin for a floor-length black gown that might serve as a substitute. Luckily, she was able to rescue the dress from the shop on Thursday!

We’ll return to our normally scheduled posts in the coming days and thanks for your understanding.

Best of: Etsy Bridesmaid Gifts

A roundup of a few of my favorite finds on Etsy right now.

A classy lady needs a classy flask, am I right? Groomsmen can’t have all the fun. The high-heeled boot and vintage-looking wash say “I’m a lady, but I can hold my liquor.”

You spent so much time on those wedding photos, why not present your maids with rustic custom frames to display them? Send the seller a picture of your bridesmaids’ dresses and he’ll hand draw a gown to match, then burn it into the wood along with your maid’s name.

Supply your girls with comfy and cute handprinted TOMS so they can dance the night away.

Perfect for those bridesmaid survival kits I know you’re planning on making. The seller will also personalize with your names, wedding date—whatever you want!

These button-front kaftans will look great and keep you from messing up your hair and makeup while getting ready the day of the wedding. Available in long or short styles, drawstring or buttons. The silk floral prints are stunning!

Why not just get them something cute? These patterned wristlets are sweet as can be with a dainty bow and perfect for storing their essentials the day of the wedding. No bulky bags, but cell, gloss, etc on hand.

1920s Party Inspiration

Decadence, glamor, candlelight and alcohol—what more do you need for a classy bachelorette party or swanky shower? Channel the Roaring 20s with a speakeasy vibe, strong cocktails and tiny canapes. This is a great theme for an at-home party as it instantly fancies things up. Here are some simple tips for creating a 1920s vibe.

A room with dark wood or brick walls is the perfect setting for your speakeasy 1920s soiree. Choose deep, rich colors as your accents, like burgundys and mauves, and don’t be afraid to throw in a few peacock feathers. I love the vintage Deco prints used as placecards here. A vintage tarot deck could be put to use in the same way with absolutely striking results.

Visit Grandma’s house or local flea markets to look for vintage pieces that will make an impact. A lace tablecloth would be delicate and striking, but make sure it’s not a family heirloom (real lace is incredibly expensive!). An old radio or typewriter will set the mood and is much likely to end up with red wine all over it.

Prohibition meant unmarked bottles and secret cocktail lounges. Since you probably want your guests to know what they’re drinking, think about decanting your liquors into beautiful bottles with your own labels. The bar instantly feels like an exclusive destination.

Don’t have an old library cart? A bookshelf can easily double as a bar. Line up glassware on an old silver tray if you have it. A mirror is a great alternative. Add candles at night for shimmer or flowers for a daytime event.

During Prohibition, the quality of alcohol was pretty low, so big batches of punch were a good way to make a little liquor go a long way and mask the taste. You can make a high-class (and way tastier) version, like this pomegranate champagne punch. Note that it uses one large ice block, another authentic detail to the era. For a really large one like this, fill a loaf pan or metal bowl with water and freeze. For individual cocktails, you can buy king-size ice cube trays like these.

When it comes to wardrobe, you can carry the theme a little, a lot or not at all. If you want to add a little 1920s vibe but not put pressure on all the ladies to buy complete ensembles, nothing says flapper like headwear. A scarf, a velvet cap, a feather—it all looks good. Add a long strand of pearls or elbow-length evening gloves to almost any outfit and you’re all set.

Inspiration from Wedding Chicks, Green Wedding Shoes, and Ruffled.

Bridesmaid on a Budget

Q: A friend has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, but I’m worried about how much it will cost. I’m on a very tight budget now and the bride doesn’t plan on having an inexpensive wedding. I’m already going to have to fly down for the ceremony, but I don’t think I can afford taking other trips for showers or bachelorette parties. And I know she’s going to want us to buy a designer dress. What should I do?

A: Trust me, you are not alone in this. The cost of being a bridesmaid can be extremely high. If there will be a bridal shower and bachelorette party to travel to, you may end up paying for three flights, three hotels, and three gifts before the big day arrives. That’s not to mention food and alcohol during these occasions. And some bridal parties will ask their guests to chip in for special events: spa days, bar crawls, a limo, favors, decorations. For the actual wedding day you’ll be purchasing a gown that can cost between $150 and $300. You may be asked to have your hair and makeup done, which will set you back another $150 at least, and you may have to purchase particular shoes and jewelry as well. This all costs money.

So what can you do?

1. It is okay to say “no.” I know this is hard to hear because chances are you really do want to be in your friend’s wedding. (If you don’t want to be a bridesmaid, you should have said “no” in the first place.) But your friend is asking you to be her bridesmaid, not telling you. If you know that the cost of this wedding is going to be way outside your comfort zone, tell the bride that you’re honored that she asked you, but that you’re just not financially able to do it right now. Tell her you cannot wait to spend time with her on her big day, but that your situation only allows you to spend money on the flight to the wedding.

Yes, the bride may be disappointed, even mad. If she’s really your friend, she will get over it. You’ll also save both of you some headaches and heartaches. You’re going to be stressing out every time you click “buy” and she may be stressed out that she’s asking too much of you. If you have to constantly remind her that you’re on a budget, she may feel annoyed or harassed. You might be doing both of you a favor by opting out. However, you have to make this decision up front. Saying “yes” and then backing out later will cause hurt feelings and make the bride feel like you’re punishing her. Once you’re in, you’re in.

2. Talk to the bride about her expectations. Saying “no” not an option? Call the bride and tell her that you’re worried about costs since money is tight right now and that you want to put together a budget for yourself. Presenting it this way will keep the bride from feeling like you’re complaining to her about how much she’s asking you to spend. Say: “I want to get a general idea of how much everything will cost so I can plan ahead.” Ask her what she’s thinking about for parties and apparel. Will any of the parties be within driving distance? Will the bridal shower and bachelorette party be combined? Does she have a price point in mind for dresses? Once you know the costs, figure out how much of it you can afford. Tip: When the maid of honor starts planning the bachelorette party or bridal shower, ask her up front how much it will cost before you RSVP “yes.” This way you can avoid hidden costs. You don’t want to sign up for the party and then find out the bride wants to go on a cruise or rent out a restaurant—and you’ll be footing the bill.

3. Present your plan to the bride. Once you know the costs, come up with a plan. The easiest way to save money is to opt out of the pre-wedding festivities. There’s a chance the bride will be upset about this, but hopefully your friend will understand that you have to prioritize. Suggest to the bride or maid of honor that you combine shower and bachelorette events into one day or weekend. That’s one less trip to worry about and will be appealing to all the attendees (who doesn’t love a big party weekend versus lots of commitments spread out over months?). If you’re looking for smaller ways to save money while still attending all the events, consider these options: Continue reading →

Will You Be My Bridesmaid Stamp

Let’s admit it: We’ve all swooned over those sweet “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” kerchiefs. You know the ones I mean: vintage printed hankies with a little message scrawled in the center. But almost $30 a pop, the price can add up pretty fast, especially if you have a lot of bridesmaids. So imagine my surprise and joy when I stumbled on this “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” stamp from Southern Fried Paper! You can DIY as many hankies as you like for the price of one from some other retailers! The stamp is available in a classic cursive and floral motif. Just purchase hankies at the nearest flea market or make your own with a few yards of fabric and some iron-on hemming tape.