how to save money as a bridesmaid

We’re all familiar with the concept of “get the look for less.” Well, let’s call this “get the bachelorette for less.” Bachelorette expenses can add up quickly, so here are a few ways to keep costs down for everyone while still creating a memorable, kickass bachelorette party.

Instead of hopping on a flight…
Pick a central location that’s drivable for most of your guests. The highest cost associated with a bachelorette party is usually the flight ticket. Choosing a location that is close to most of your guests will greatly help reduce costs for all. This may require you to do a little research and to think creatively to find alternatives to far-off locales that still offer the activities and vibe your bride is looking for. Instead of a getaway to Napa, look into nearby wineries—almost every state has them! Rather than booking a trip to Vegas, consider the nearest big city instead. From Charlotte to Nashville to Seattle, there’s plenty of fun bachelorette action to be had, without the Vegas price tag. Rather than a beachfront hotel in Miami, rent a lake house or choose a beach that’s closer to home (and more affordable). Keep an open mind and be creative. You may be glad you picked a less flashy destination when you find out how much the areas closest to you have to offer—and how much you’ll save.

Instead of booking hotel rooms…
Host the guests at your house. The second highest expense for a bachelorette party is lodging. Hosting can be stressful but, if your group is cool with blow-up mattresses and crashing on the couch, it will ultimately save them a lot of money. If hosting isn’t an option as none of your guests live in the chosen destination, look at Airbnb and vrbo.com for vacation rental options. You’ll have more space in a home and will enjoy common areas like a living room and backyard. Plus, access to a kitchen will allow you to save money by eating in at least a few times. Just be sure to be mindful of hefty cleaning charges and refundable deposits and leave the place the way you found it.

Instead of going out for a fancy dinner…
Cook a gourmet meal at home. Dining in can save you a ton of money. You can make a meal at home for a fraction of what it would cost in a restaurant. Just the savings on wine alone ($10 bottles at home rather than $25 bottles at a restaurant) will go a long way. Tasting Table has a few tips for planning a stress-free dinner party. The host can take care of the main dish while guests provide appetizers, dessert and drinks. Keep appetizers simple with a cheese board (who does not love cheese?), asking a few guests to bring cheese, crackers, bread, grapes, olives and/or cured meats. Assign other guests a bottle of wine or liquor (ask for a mid-priced option) and necessary mixers. For dessert, a store-bought cake or pie from a local bakery with a scoop of ice cream is all you need (or see our tips below to snaz up a grocery store cake).

Instead of splurging on a limo…
Plot a course for the night that is walkable and then take a taxi home. Renting transportation for the whole night can end up being a big waste of money if very little of your time will be spent in that expensive party bus or limo. If you’re planning to go to multiple bars or clubs, try to pick destinations that are close together so your group can just mosey from one place to the next. Then just have a local taxi company’s number in your phone or your Uber app ready when it comes time to call it a night.

Instead of mailing printed invitations…
Send stylish (and free) evites from Paperless Post. These digital cards are as pretty as printed stationery, even arriving in your inbox with a custom envelope that unfolds to reveal the invitation. Paperless Post collaborates with lots of stylish designers as well, like Kate Spade, Jonathan Adler, Kelly Wearstler and J.Crew.

Instead of going overboard on decor…
Harness the talents of your guests and utilize what you have. Make flower arrangements by gathering blooms from a guest’s garden. A lacy tablecloth can become a photo booth backdrop. Wheel a bar cart outside and—boom!—you’ve got a sense of whimsy. Set the table with mismatched vintage dishes borrowed from friends and relatives. Make the cute bunting banner you see above in minutes.

Instead of starting the night at a fancy cocktail bar…
Host a cocktail hour in your hotel or home. At $8–$12 a pop (depending on where you live), cocktails can add up quickly. Having a few drinks in your home or hotel room before you go out will greatly decrease the cost of liquor throughout the night. Create a specialty cocktail for the bride and ask around to see if anyone collects pretty glassware. Or, break out the paint pens to dress up inexpensive plastic cocktail glasses (time to channel your inner sorority sister, girls). You can also use this time to play a few bachelorette party games, like the Fiancé Quiz or a game of Most Likely To. You probably don’t want to be asking the bride what her favorite sex position is in a crowded bar or loudly declaring who is most likely to hook up with someone tonight as that potential hookup looks on.

Instead of ordering a fancy custom cake…
Dress up a store-bought cake with a few easy tweaks. Dip a knife in warm water and then run it over the frosting to replace the grocery store look with a more rustic, hand-done finish. Then decorate with whatever you have on hand: herbs like rosemary, fruit like lemons or grapefruit slices, flowers, edible glitter, or a big pile of candy.

Instead of buying an expensive shower gift…
Team up with a friend or two to create a wine basket for her first year of marriage. If you don’t buy a lot of wine, here’s a little secret: Good wine does not have to be expensive. My favorite section at my local wine store is entitled “Cheap and Delicious” and the wines are just that. Trader Joe’s wine shop is a discount wine dream or take a look at wine.com for highly rated but low-priced wines.

Photo credits, top to bottom: Sorella Muse Photography, Dyanna Joy Photography, Cameron Leung Photography, Tiltawhirl Photography, Paperless Post, Maru Photography, Sweet Root Village, Mintwood Photo Co., Ultimate Bridesmaid

Q: A friend has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, but I’m worried about how much it will cost. I’m on a very tight budget now and the bride doesn’t plan on having an inexpensive wedding. I’m already going to have to fly down for the ceremony, but I don’t think I can afford taking other trips for showers or bachelorette parties. And I know she’s going to want us to buy a designer dress. What should I do?

A: Trust me, you are not alone in this. The cost of being a bridesmaid can be extremely high. If there will be a bridal shower and bachelorette party to travel to, you may end up paying for three flights, three hotels, and three gifts before the big day arrives. That’s not to mention food and alcohol during these occasions. And some bridal parties will ask their guests to chip in for special events: spa days, bar crawls, a limo, favors, decorations. For the actual wedding day you’ll be purchasing a gown that can cost between $150 and $300. You may be asked to have your hair and makeup done, which will set you back another $150 at least, and you may have to purchase particular shoes and jewelry as well. This all costs money.

So what can you do?

1. It is okay to say “no.” I know this is hard to hear because chances are you really do want to be in your friend’s wedding. (If you don’t want to be a bridesmaid, you should have said “no” in the first place.) But your friend is asking you to be her bridesmaid, not telling you. If you know that the cost of this wedding is going to be way outside your comfort zone, tell the bride that you’re honored that she asked you, but that you’re just not financially able to do it right now. Tell her you cannot wait to spend time with her on her big day, but that your situation only allows you to spend money on the flight to the wedding.

Yes, the bride may be disappointed, even mad. If she’s really your friend, she will get over it. You’ll also save both of you some headaches and heartaches. You’re going to be stressing out every time you click “buy” and she may be stressed out that she’s asking too much of you. If you have to constantly remind her that you’re on a budget, she may feel annoyed or harassed. You might be doing both of you a favor by opting out. However, you have to make this decision up front. Saying “yes” and then backing out later will cause hurt feelings and make the bride feel like you’re punishing her. Once you’re in, you’re in.

2. Talk to the bride about her expectations. Saying “no” not an option? Call the bride and tell her that you’re worried about costs since money is tight right now and that you want to put together a budget for yourself. Presenting it this way will keep the bride from feeling like you’re complaining to her about how much she’s asking you to spend. Say: “I want to get a general idea of how much everything will cost so I can plan ahead.” Ask her what she’s thinking about for parties and apparel. Will any of the parties be within driving distance? Will the bridal shower and bachelorette party be combined? Does she have a price point in mind for dresses? Once you know the costs, figure out how much of it you can afford. Tip: When the maid of honor starts planning the bachelorette party or bridal shower, ask her up front how much it will cost before you RSVP “yes.” This way you can avoid hidden costs. You don’t want to sign up for the party and then find out the bride wants to go on a cruise or rent out a restaurant—and you’ll be footing the bill.

3. Present your plan to the bride. Once you know the costs, come up with a plan. The easiest way to save money is to opt out of the pre-wedding festivities. There’s a chance the bride will be upset about this, but hopefully your friend will understand that you have to prioritize. Suggest to the bride or maid of honor that you combine shower and bachelorette events into one day or weekend. That’s one less trip to worry about and will be appealing to all the attendees (who doesn’t love a big party weekend versus lots of commitments spread out over months?). If you’re looking for smaller ways to save money while still attending all the events, consider these options: Continue reading →

Ultimate Bridesmaid

The bridesmaid blog for bridal shower and bachelorette party inspiration, bridesmaid duties, party games, fashion, favors and more

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