Category Archives: Reception

The Ultimate Maid of Honor Speech

In my experience, a maid of honor toast can go two ways: funny or sentimental. We sort of luck out in that way. The best man basically has to be funny. It’s expected of him. But if stand-up comedy is not your thing, you are off the hook. You can be totally sweet and heartfelt and people will love it. If you can make a crowd laugh though, go for it! Stick to what you’re good at and you’ll end up with a speech that feels genuine and that you’ll feel comfortable giving. I try to create a good balance of funny and sweet, so my personal approach is to open funny and then slowly progress to sweet, ending with heartfelt well wishes for the couple and a big hug (tears optional).

Your toast basically has three elements: a beginning, middle and end. Here’s a general outline to get you started.

The Beginning

Start by introducing yourself and share how you know the bride. Say “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Caitlin and I’m the bride’s sister/best friend/sorority sister/former roommate.” This may sound like a boring opening, but unless you know every single person at this wedding, it’s important to mention who you are and your relationship to the bride. You can mention how long you’ve known each other if the number is impressive (don’t say “I’ve known the bride for one year”) and quickly tell the story of how you met if it’s funny or cute.

I find this is a nice soft opening. It’s personal and you can usually work in a laugh. If the story of how you met isn’t doing it for you, the intro is also a good time to throw in some stories about being her maid of honor or to mention how honored or excited you are to share this day with her.

After your introduction, it’s also nice to work in a thank you to the bride’s parents if they are paying for the wedding. It’s not required, but it’s a nice touch. You can say something as simple as “And I want to extend a big thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Jones for hosting this amazing celebration!”

The Middle

The middle of the speech is understandably the hardest. This is where you need to decide what you want to say today. Be advised: It is ok for these things to be short. Try to keep your speech at 5 minutes maximum. Any more and the crowd is going to get restless and start murmuring amongst themselves and storming the buffet. Take some time to think about the kind of tone you want to set with your speech. Jot down words that describe the couple or remind you of stories you might tell. It can be helpful to choose a framework for your speech. Here are some ideas to help organize your thoughts and get your started.

Tell the story of how the bride and groom met or how he proposed. Not everyone at the wedding may know theses stories and if there’s something especially touching or funny about them, it can be a great way to focus on the couple and enhance their day. At Marisa’s wedding, I told the story of their proposal. Marisa broke her wrist on their skiing trip and almost didn’t make it to the top of the mountain where Justin planned to propose. He had to lure her up with the promise of waffles and nutella. I told the story, then ended by telling Justin that I hope he always shows Marisa the support he gave her that day and that I hope Marisa always goes to the top of the mountain—even if there’s no nutella that day. You can use stories from the couples’ relationship as examples of why they’ll have a great marriage. In my opinion, this is the best recipe for a great speech.
Format your speech as “the three reasons Tiffany is right for Mark, or Mark is right for Tiffany.” Continue reading →

Q&A: Can I bring a date (and should I)?

Q: As a member of the wedding party, can I bring a date? And more importantly, should I? I know I’ll be with the bride for long periods of time, so what can I do to make the wedding a good experience for my date too?

A: If you’re not seeing someone on a steady basis and you’re a member of the wedding party, I’d strongly recommend not inviting a date. The demands of being a bridesmaid will keep you away from your guest for a fair amount of time, so it’s not a good venue to test a new relationship. Likewise, you’ll be surrounded by girlfriends, so there’s no chance you’ll feel left out without a date.

If you do have a significant other, ask yourself a few very important questions before asking them to come to the wedding. First, ask your bride what the seating arrangement will be at the reception. Very few brides insist on the old-fashioned head-table set-up, but if your bride wants this traditional format, then the wedding party is seated apart from their dates. This means that the day of the wedding you’ll probably say goodbye to your date early in the morning to get ready with the bride and not meet up with them again until the dancing starts after dinner.

The next question you should ask yourself: Does my date know anyone at the wedding who they can hang out with? Continue reading →

DIY: Photobooth

My friend Nicole, master of the DIY wedding, created this fun photobooth wall for the reception. Here’s what you’ll need:

One 4 ft. x 8 ft. piece plywood or other scrap wood large enough for 2-4 people to stand behind
Various frames 8″ x 10″ or larger
Scrap wallpaper
Sawhorse
Handheld jigsaw
Handheld drill
Hammer and nails or hot glue
Mod Podge
Paintbrush
Ruler
Exacto knife/scissors

Nicole hunted around at some garage sales for the frames. A few still had old pictures in them and we kept a random fruit still life in its frame to complete the “pictures on the wall” illusion. Ask friends and relatives if they have any wallpaper scraps lying around. Purchasing new paper can be expensive and anyone who has wallpapered is bound to have some bits leftover that they’ve shoved in the attic. You can also find scraps for sale on Etsy or eBay. This one’s really pretty and wedding white. Just make sure you get enough to cover your plywood! I love Nicole’s choice because it’s so old-fashioned and tacky. I absolutely giggle every time I imagine the hypothetical house this existed in (and the hypothetical owners who clearly have an unhealthy obsession with fruit).

Plywood generally comes in 4 x 8 feet sheets, but you really only need 4 x 6 1/2 (unless your wedding guests are really tall), so, wearing protective eyewear, cut off the top 1 1/2 feet with your jigsaw (or ask the hardware store to do this!). Continue reading →

Marisa and Justin are married!

Last weekend I traveled to Florida for Marisa’s wedding in St. Augustine. I cannot wait to see the professional photographs and share a few with you, but in the meantime here are a couple of my snaps from the day and some highlights from the bridesmaid front.

The happily married couple in our wedding trolley!

Marisa had a rainbow vision for her bridesmaids, a wash of jewel-toned dupioni. We didn’t see the dresses all together until the day of the wedding and we were all blown away with how pretty they looked together. She picked just the right shades! We each chose a style from a selection of three. You can find my ivy V-neck with cap sleeves here, Alyssa’s strapless number here, and Maria’s violet scoopneck here, all by Alfred Sung.

Instead of bouquets, Marisa made us these clutches with retro brooches chosen to match our dresses. They definitely came in handy since we could slip in tissues, lip gloss and even our cameras! I was able to take more pictures before and after the ceremony because of them, although all of my photos conspicuously stop when I reach the reception, probably because I was busy “partying my face off” as Marisa would say. Oh, and stressing about my speech.

Marisa and I before the ceremony! The bridesmaids seriously earned our keep with her gorgeous dress. It was ridiculously heavy and required at least two helping hands to get her in and out of the trolley (or one groomsman lifting her up like a doll. This was much more effective.). All the bridesmaids had something to manage to get her around—her train, her veil, her spectacular oversize bouquet, her towel for dabbing off in the summer heat. Like I always say, being a bridesmaid is hard work!

Probably our favorite activity at the reception was this amazing photobooth, stocked with props. I was really impressed with the photo quality and the imaginative facial expressions. The results can be seen below and the Florida-based company Marisa used is Phobooth.

My darling boyfriend and I. He’s gotten quite good at attending weddings with me. The arrow was supposed to point at him…in the heat of the moment I made a fatal error.

Fellow Maid of Honor Alyssa joins the picture. This is post-speeches, hence our relaxed demeanor.

A gathering of excellent people.

Many more wedding details to come, including Maid of Honor speech tips and Marisa’s amazing bridesmaid survival kits.

Wedding Day Duties

So the day has finally come. Time to put your game face on and make the bride your number one priority. It’s important to keep things in perspective and remember the role you signed up for. Your bride may be giddy with happiness or petrified with nerves—just be the friend she needs that day.

I’ll use photographs from the lovely Michele’s wedding to lay out how a traditional wedding day will unfold. This of course all flies out the window if your bride has planned a nontraditional ceremony. In that case, just be sure to communicate with her beforehand and know what she needs you to do.

So in our traditional scenario, bridesmaids are asked to meet several hours early to start getting ready. For a girl who can be dressed and out the door in fifteen minutes this may seem excessive, but you really will need the time if everyone is planning to get hair and makeup professionally done. Even if that’s not the case, remember that job of yours? Support. Your bride wants to be surrounded by her friends. Show up when she asks.

Ok, so the hair and makeup folks have arrived or you have broken out the curling irons and mascara yourself and the primping is under way. Wear a button-down shirt or loose top so that your hair and makeup won’t get messed up and you’ll be comfortable. What else should you do for the next couple hours? I’m partial to celebratory mimosas but I highly, highly recommend keeping drinking in check—one or two at most. If you start getting ready in the morning for an afternoon or evening wedding and drink at a steady pace, people will be wasted, tired and sloppy at the actual event. MOHs can coordinate with the bride’s mother to make sure there will be food for everyone. If Mom’s not planning to provide, make it your job to arrange this. You all need to eat at least something small. No one wants to pass out at the wedding. Youtube “bridesmaid fainting” for a preview of how that will go.

Holding the bride’s mimosa.

This is also a great time to present the bride with a small gift from her maids. For Michele, we got her an FSU garter. The bride may have favors for you as well (Michele made us beautiful bracelets to wear on the day!). Sometimes you’ll present the bride with a gift as a group, but I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary since you’ll already have given her shower/bachelorette/wedding gifts. One thing I always try to do though is bring a card for the bride and share a private moment with her. I like to include my thanks for asking me to be in her wedding, my excitement for the day and encouragement about the future. It’s a great way to share a personal moment before she gets swept up in the events of the ceremony and reception. I kind of cherish that getting ready time, because after that the bride is going to be bombarded by the other guests and you won’t have as much time with her.

Michele with her gift—an FSU garter.

After all the maids are dressed, you’ll help the bride into her gown. If she’s using a professional photographer they will probably be on hand at that point to capture the moment. For the next hour (or so) you’ll take pictures with the bride, either at the reception venue or the church. Some couples may choose to do a “first look,” in which case the whole wedding party will meet up and take photographs before the ceremony. If there’s no first look, you’ll be expected to take more pictures after the ceremony. Either way, you’re in for the long haul here. The MOH should stay with the bride at all times and make sure her dress and hair are always looking great. Carry her train for her if she has one and step in to fix problems if you see them (I don’t want to even get into the red underwear situation).

The first look!

After photographs it’s time for the ceremony! When processing down the aisle, adopt that time-honored BBQ slogan: slow and low. Walk slowly and carry your bouquet low, where your hands would sit naturally if you folded them in front. Higher will block your face and dress and just looks weird. The MOH holds the ring (if she has a pocket or place to keep it; if not sometimes the best man will carry both rings). She stands beside the bride, fixes her train and veil when the bride makes it down the aisle and holds the bride’s bouquet and her own throughout the ceremony. When the vows are said and the ceremony complete, the MOH, along with the Best Man, will sign the marriage license—the true reason we have attendants in the first place. They are our witnesses to the validity of the marriage!

Excellent bouquet form.

If your couple has planned post-ceremony pictures you’ll now partake in those. Then the wedding party heads to the reception. Some couples may want you to be formally introduced, in which case you’ll wait for the other guests to enter and then come into the reception as your names are announced. Sometimes the wedding party stands around the dance floor as the couple has their first dance, other times they might join in after a few bars or just take your seats. It’s a good idea to find out in the morning what your bride had planned for this, because in the moment she’s going to be a litttle preoccupied.

An enthusiastic introduction.

The bridal party gathers around during the first dance.

Then, unless you’re the MOH, your “official” duties have ended! Your unofficial duties: make sure guests are having a good time—point out wedding day events like photo booths or guest books, help pass out favors, lead dances if necessary, chat with lonely old ladies, if single cruise for eligible bachelors—you know the drill. If your bride has taken a more DIY approach, your work may only be beginning, but that’s really specific to each bride.

She doesn’t even know that woman (to my knowledge).

If you’re the MOH, you’ll need to give a speech. But more on that another time.

DIY Bridesmaid: Thumbprint Tree

My friend Nicole should be the poster girl for DIY weddings. She arranged a sunset ceremony in her backyard right on the St. John’s River, and we were surrounded by sunflowers while two of her friends strummed guitar and other friends snapped photos. Nicole even made all the food herself, with the help of her aunts and Mom (more on that later). One of my favorite projects from the wedding though was her Thumbprint Tree Guest Book.

You can find lots of trees on Etsy, but they’re a bit expensive. Nicole’s fiance Brenhan is a great artist, so he painted this one himself and I added the calligraphy. Then we set it out on a small table with four different shades of green ink (found at Michael’s) and paper towels and water to clean your finger after leaving your print. We also set out a pen so that guests could sign their name next to their print. At informal receptions, bridesmaids can be a huge help in getting things like this done. I offered to take charge of the guest book, circulated and asked guests if they’d had a chance to “sign” it yet and helped show them what to do. The result was absolutely gorgeous!