Tag Archives: bridal shower

Shower Suggestions: Savannah

For Marisa’s bridal shower, I wanted to take advantage of Savannah’s beauty. Forsyth Park, famous for its gorgeous moss-draped oaks and iconic fountain, seemed like the perfect location. I also liked the idea of a picnic because it would be casual and we wouldn’t be locked into a tight schedule with a restaurant reservation or feel rushed through a sit-down lunch (with a bill at the end). I think hosting a shower at someone’s house is always the best option because it’s more personal, but for a destination weekend this seemed like a great solution for creating a similar atmosphere. I asked girls who were driving up to bring camping chairs, blankets and folding tables. I had trouble finding a map of Forsyth Park to stake out a spot beforehand, but after a quick drive around the perimeter we settled somewhere near the middle of the park. We had views of the fountain and were under the trees, just like I wanted. The north park of the park has open fields and is less picturesque.

Theme: For a shower theme, we came up with “Stock the Closet.” Lingerie is a common theme, but I knew that wouldn’t fit Marisa’s personality. I’ve also seen showers focused on home goods, where each guest is assigned a room and asked to bring a gift that would go in that room. But since so many brides register for home goods, I didn’t want to do that either. I wanted the presents to focus on Marisa since the day was for her and I thought what girl doesn’t love clothes, jewelry, makeup and accessories? I was so impressed with scope of the gifts! There were tons of sundresses, earrings, and even a subscription to a site called Birchbox that sends monthly makeup samples so you can try new products.

I also decided that I wanted to have some kind of group gift for Marisa. I thought it would be a nice way to bring all the girls together. The idea I decided on was a friendship scrapbook. I really thought the weekend should be focused on friendship and girls. I asked each of the guests to buy a piece (or more) of 12×12 paper and put together a scrapbook page about their friendship with Marisa. I encouraged them to get creative and use as many or as few photos as they wanted. Some added captions or wrote silly poems. I bought an album and we just slid all the pages in before presenting it to Marisa. Not only was it an awesome remembrance of the weekend, but it was really fun for us to pass around at the shower. Not all the girls knew one another, so we were able to see pictures of Marisa from different eras, from middle school dances to recent nights out.

Refreshments: For food, I did a ton of research on catering in Savannah and settled on Thrive, A Carryout Cafe. Emma at Thrive was able to design a menu that fit my budget and also accommodated my requests for both gluten-free and vegetarian options. Thrive sources their ingredients locally and the lunch was delicious. Our hands-down favorite was the pesto pasta salad, which we all literally dug into with our hands later after a long night out on River Street.

Invitations

Choosing invitations for Marisa’s bachelorette weekend turned out to be way more difficult than I expected. I didn’t think my criteria were too demanding. I wanted something classy and simple but fun. Marisa’s a graphic designer, so I knew the typography and design needed to be modern and clean. Little did I know that “modern” and “clean” don’t factor in to many of the invites on the market. Getting away from black and pink was almost impossible so we just embracing it in the end. But I didn’t want anything that overtly referenced lingerie or Sex in the City (you would be astonished at how overdone these themes are). Designers, there’s a niche here that’s under-represented in my opinion! Here are a few of my favorites that Alyssa and I tracked down after lots of searching and the invite we ultimately went with.

This one felt like a good balance between modern and vintage and the muted pink and black is subtle and still chic. It’s customizable but not custom, so the price is good. You can find it here on Wedding Paper Divas.

This one stole my heart. The chevron pattern feels so modern and the colors are tweaked toward gray and coral, which makes this invite feel sophisticated and unexpected. You’ll find these on Etsy and need to contact the designer directly for a personalized listing.

I loved that this one got away from pink and incorporated sparkle in a fresh way. The script feels hand drawn and the vibe is vintage modern. This listing is for a digital file and you can find it on Etsy as well.

Polka Dot Design is another good site if you’d rather set your own type rather than working with a designer. This invite is actually for a New Year’s party, but I thought it could easily be tweaked for a fancy bachelorette party.

If you’re going to go lingerie or kitsch, I think this is how to do it.The playbill lettering and ’50s pin-up balances perfectly with the cream paper and feels vintage without being busy.

This invite was our final choice. We loved the simple typography and the “All You Need Is Love” theme fit our bride perfectly. The hot pink seemed fresh with the crisp white instead of the black that I’d seen on so many other invites. Lisa from Blushface was also very easy to work with, responding quickly and sending us a few proofs until the invite looked just right. She also printed for us, which was something we were looking for.

In general, I recommend you shop around because prices can vary considerably. Print-on-demand sites like Wedding Paper Divas and Polka Dot Design are great for a budget and do have lots of options allowing for one-stop shopping and less time spent searching, but the templates aren’t completely customizable and I didn’t find very many designs that met my “clean and modern” criteria (the two sites I’ve mentioned were by far the best in that category). Designers can be more expensive, but not always. They also tend to have more interesting designs and will customize the invite to your needs. I found Etsy to be the best resource for this by far. Most of the designers on wedding website directories are looking for wedding invite orders, not smaller parties like showers and bachelorette weekends. Though I saw some amazing work, their clientele is focused on brides. Etsy invite designers were much more approachable for our purposes. Some designers provide printed files, but some don’t which means an extra expense. Alyssa and I used a board on Pinterest to display invites we liked all together, which helped to narrow our options and keep links at the ready for price comparison.

Please post links to invites you’ve found! I’m going to need ideas for the next time around…

Bridesmaid Basics

The first time I was asked to join a wedding party I felt a rush of excitement and anticipation, shortly followed by this thought: “Ok, what exactly does this job actually entail?” Though I did know a lot of the basics, I soon realized that being a bridesmaid is also a kind of state of mind (how very zen). Here are the basics of bridesmaid and maid/matron of honor duties, both tangible and intangible. I think of these first two as rules:

1. Be there for the bride.

This one seems like a no-brainer, but it can’t be overstated. You’ve been chosen as a bridesmaid because you have a close, special relationship with the bride. She chose you as a bridesmaid for the same reasons she chose you as her friend and she is hoping that you will bring all the qualities that she loves about your friendship to your role as her bridesmaid. While some bridesmaids do pitch in with actual wedding planning—going to dress fittings, addressing envelopes, arranging flowers and the like—this isn’t a mandatory part of being a bridesmaid. What is officially part of your job, as both a bridesmaid and just a regular old friend, is offering a listening and supportive ear to the bride as she plans her wedding. The process can be stressful and the bride will appreciate knowing that you won’t mind if she goes on and on about whether the wedding color should be lilac or violet. She may need someone to vent to or someone to reassure her that she can do it. Just be that person. If you’d like to help more but don’t live near the bride, you can always dig up inspiration and send her links to venues and vendors. Joint Pinterest boards, anyone?

2. Do not complain.

Hate the dress? Too bad. Anxious about how you’ll look on the day? That’s your problem! Planning a wedding is stressful and brides count on their girls to provide a safe haven from the madness. Do everything you can to encourage and support. This doesn’t mean you should lie. If your bride asks what you think of her dress options, weigh in honestly. She’s asking you because she respects your opinion. Just keep things positive and make sure she knows you’re excited for the day and recognize how hard she’s working.

Once you’ve mastered the rules, the following will come naturally.

3. Bridal showers and bachelorette parties.

While it’s not mandatory to throw the bride a shower or plan a bachelorette party, many bridesmaids do choose to do this. Of the two parties, the bachelorette most typically falls to the bridesmaids and the MOH in particular to plan. Maids of honor should talk to their brides about what kind of party they want and then take the reins and plan something you know they’ll love. Throw a party that reflects her personality, whether it be a wild weekend in New Orleans, a backyard BBQ or a quiet retreat to a mountain cabin. Bridal showers can be thrown by the bridesmaids, or by a relative or family friend of the bride. Bridesmaids should try to attend all events if you are local and at least one event if you have to travel. Combination shower/bachelorette weekends are ideal for friends who are spread out across the country. You get to spend more time together and pack all these traditional events into one crazy weekend.

4. Pay your way.

Some brides may offer to pay for some of these things, but you should by no means expect it. A normal part of being a bridesmaid is chipping in for your dress, shoes, makeup and hair. Please refer to rule 2. That said, of course everyone has different budgets and we all understand that being in weddings can be expensive. My advice is to speak with your bride about concerns once, at the beginning of planning. After that, try not to burden her. There are lots of ways to get creative with money. A personal gift or small token instead of a big purchase from the registry is perfectly fine. You being in the wedding is enough of a gift to the bride. You can also opt to do your own hair and makeup, or split transportation and hotel costs with other wedding guests to save. As a last resort, you can opt out of the bachelorette or shower. The bride should understand that if you can only afford one big trip, the wedding is the more important one.

5. Help her enjoy the day.

Be on time the day of the wedding. Help the bride get ready. You may find yourself called on to perform the unofficial bridesmaid duty of keeping the groomsmen in line during photos (orders to “put down that beer and smile” may be required). Your bride will need different things from you depending on the format of the wedding. I’ve brought out trays of lasagna at a backyard wedding or been formally introduced and joined the first dance at more traditional receptions. Make sure you know what she expects before the events kick off. Once the festivities get going, she’s going to be focused on her groom and her guests and if her bridesmaids know the drill it will keep things running smoothly.

Maid of Honor:

The maid of honor does all of the above and more. I’ll go into more detail about these in the future, but for now make sure you:

Plan a bachelorette party and/or shower.
Be the point person for the other bridesmaids. On wedding day you’ll need to keep on a schedule and it will take the burden off the bride if you make sure all the girls are on time and ready to go.
Hold the ring and bouquet during the ceremony.
Constantly keep an eye on your bride and make sure she looks great. Adjust her dress or hair if she needs it.
Sign the marriage license.
Give a speech and toast at the reception.

The truth is, each wedding and bride is different and they’re going to need different things from their ‘maids. If you follow rules 1 and 2, you can’t go wrong.

What else should every bridesmaid do? What unusual duties have you had to take on? Leave it in comments!