Category Archives: For the Bride

Do I Have to Open Gifts at My Bridal Shower?

I recently came across an article on a popular bridal website about opening gifts at the shower. The reader asks if it’s necessary to open gifts at the shower and the writer replies “‘Fraid so, since receiving gifts—and opening them—is the main focus of a shower.” She then goes on to recommend that you “figure out a few gracious stock responses that you can use after unwrapping each gift (“Thank you so much—I love it!” or “Oh, wow—how gorgeous!” are good ones)” and maybe even “recruit a witty friend” to “oooh and ahhh where appropriate.”

HOLY HECK! This is the worst advice I’ve ever heard. Practice sounding appreciative?!? Stand in front of the mirror and repeat “Oh wow—how gorgeous” until it sounds sincere?!?! Recruit a “witty friend” to fill dead air?!?! Oh my GOD! Do not do this!

View More: http://dyannajoyphotography.pass.us/kellie-bridal-shower

Photo courtesy of Dyanna Joy Photography.

Saying that the purpose of a bridal shower is to receive and open gifts is like saying that receiving gifts is the purpose of any party—birthdays, housewarmings, graduation. It is not! The purpose of a shower should be to gather with all the women in your life to celebrate your upcoming marriage. Can gifts be involved? Of course! But making them the centerpiece of the shower is one of the reasons bridal showers have a bad rep. This is why people think showers are boring! No one likes watching people open presents for two hours.

Do I think you should open your gifts at the party? Yes, I do. Does everyone have to sit around you in a circle and ooh and ahh (possibly only because they have been selected as your witty friend, though how this is witty I don’t know)? Nope!

Here are some ideas for making gift opening more enjoyable for everyone and less awkward for you, all of which do not involve you acting fake or recruiting friends to save you when things get awkward.

  • Pick a gift from the gift table and then find the giver. Privately open it with the giver so they can see your reaction and so you can thank them right away, then place the open gift back on the table so others can see it if they’re interested in what you’re received. This eliminates the awkward “gift opening circle” but still allows you to show your appreciation to your guests for bringing a gift.
  • If you have only a few gifts to open, go ahead and do it all at once, but encourage guests to eat and drink while you’re opening. Have some music playing so that the mood is still festive and no one feels like the party has ground to a halt just because you’re opening gifts.
  • Open the gifts while standing by the gift table. Again, this encourages movement and will keep the guests from settling into boring present lethargy. It will be easy for you to run over and give someone a hug instead of those awkward sitting hugs. Ugh.
  • If you do want to recruit a helper, ask them to make this announcement (or make it yourself): “Carrie is going to open her gifts, but she really wants you all to keep having fun! Feel free to keep the party going if you’re not interested in how many blenders she’s going to receive!”

No matter how or when you open your gifts, I think it’s important to send a thank you note. Some people may find this old fashioned, but if you’ve ever received a thoughtful thank you note, you know how warm and fuzzy it makes you feel. Make sure the women in your life know that you appreciate them by sending a note that thanks them for coming to your shower, mentions their gift and shows them how much you love it.

The Bridesmaid Packing List for the Wedding Day

bridesmaid packing list for the wedding dayEverything you need for her big day—plus a printable PDF with all the details.

Pro Tip: Stash a small duffel or large shoulder bag into your luggage to use the day of the wedding. You won’t want to drag your entire suitcase to the bridal suite, so having a smaller bag for everything you need the day of the wedding will come in handy.

For Bridesmaids:

  • Your dress

Pro Tip: If you’re flying, carry your dress on the plane in a garment bag. Planes have small coat closets that the flight attendants generally use to stash the jackets of businessmen in first class. As you enter the plane, tell the flight attendant that you’re going to a wedding and ask if he or she could hang your dress in the closet. They should be happy to oblige. The last thing you want is some kind of luggage mix-up ending with you minus your dress. 

  • The shoes you’ll wear with the dress

Pro Tip: Never wear new shoes to a wedding! Make sure to break them in by wearing at least three times before the big day. You’re going to be doing a lot of standing and your feet will thank you. 

  • A pair of comfortable sandals to change into at the reception
  • The right bra and underwear to wear under your dress

Pro Tip: Pre-plan the undergarments you’ll wear under your dress! Make sure to try it on with the bra and underwear you want to wear. Make sure no lines show on the bottom and that the straps are hidden on top. You may need a thong or to go braless. There are lots of crazy bra options for weird backless dresses—or those insane sticky things that hold up your boobs. Make sure you know before the day of the wedding which option you’ll need. 

  • Your wedding gift or a card (can be mailed ahead)
  • A button-up shirt or loose tank to wear while having your hair and makeup done (or while doing your own)
  • Comfortable pants or shorts to wear while getting ready

Pro Tip: When choosing the outfit you’ll wear for getting ready, remember that there’s a good chance a photographer will be on hand to take pictures during this time. If you want to rock your comfiest oversized sweats, more power to you. But if you don’t want to be photographed in your gym clothes, pack something neutral and comfortable that you won’t mind taking a few snaps in. Nothing fancy, just maybe something without holes.

  • Makeup. If you’re doing your own makeup, you’ll need your full makeup bag. If you’re having your makeup professionally done, pack mascara and lip gloss for touch-ups.
  • Deodorant
  • Drugs. Chances are butterflies, jitters or heavy drinking from the rehearsal dinner the night before will leave you, the bride or other maids not feeling your best. Pack stomach medicine like Tums, a painkiller like Advil, and allergy medication like Claratin, just to be safe. If you have prescriptions, be sure you include them as well.
  • Band-aids. Not only for injuries, band-aids can also help with uncomfortable shoes.
  • Double-stick tape. Savior of strapless dresses that won’t stay up. Can also be used to fix a hem that’s falling out!
  • Tissues
  • Bobby pins
  • Hair styling tools or a picture of the hair style you want. If you’re doing your own hair, make sure to pack all the tools you’ll need, be it curling iron, rollers, dryer, straightener, hair spray, bobby pins, ties, clips, etc.

Pro Tip: Telling a hair stylist to give you an up-do is like telling a chef to make you some food. What kind of up-do do you want? Print out a couple options (or have them saved on your phone).

  • Jewelry (if you’re wearing it)
  • Breath mints. No gum. Leads to potential chewing in pictures.
  • Heel inserts
  • Shout wipes
  • Small sewing kit
  • A camera. It’s hard to take time to snap pictures when you’re in the wedding, but sometimes it’s nice to have on hand, especially if the bride doesn’t plan to have a photographer present while you’re getting ready.
  • Your cell phone charger (Thanks to reader Karen for the callout!)
  • A small umbrella (As savvy reader Darby put it, rain on the wedding day may be good luck, but you don’t want to be caught without cover!)

For Maids of Honor:

  • A copy of your speech
  • Contact information for all the other bridesmaids, so you can track down latecomers or call for backup if the bride needs anything
  • A copy of the day’s schedule from the bride so you can help keep everyone on task

Coordinate with the other bridesmaids to make sure someone brings:

  • Music and speakers. You and the girls are going to want to jam while you’re getting ready, right? Make sure that you or one of the other maids brings portable speakers or some other setup to allow you to pump some tunes while you’re getting ready.
  • Snacks. Choose high energy but low mess snacks, like fruits and veggies or dark chocolate. You don’t want anything that could drip and leave stains or get crumbs all over your dress.
  • Bottled water
  • Drinks like mimosas or champagne if you plan to have a few while getting ready

Pro Tip: Keep drinking before the wedding to a minimum, maybe one or two glasses each. Even if you are normally a pro drinker, emotions run high and you are at the start of a loooong day. You don’t want to risk getting sloppy or feeling tired or sick during the ceremony or photographs from a combination of alcohol, nerves, heat or stress. There will be tons of drinking later, I promise. For now, keep it light. 

  • Any special gifts you plan to give the bride the day of the wedding

And here’s a link to a PDF you can download and print for the day: Bridesmaid Wedding Day Packing List.

Bath and Beauty Favors

I recently finished moving, so after all that packing and unpacking I’ve been seriously considered a spa day complete with a massage. Next best thing to an expensive appointment? One of these spa gift sets! These would be perfect for bridal shower party favors, or to incorporate into an at-home spa party. They’d also make great bridesmaid favors. Your maids are going to want to relax after the wedding too—and they don’t have a honeymoon to look forward to!spa gift set

The graphic ombre lines on this spa gift set box remind me of sunset over the ocean. The kit has everything you need for a perfectly rejuvenating bath: salts, body oil, a clay facial mask and lip balm.

owl soap gift setHello, darling little owl soap. Yes, I must have you! Oh, you arrive with a lip balm and nourishing serum? How lovely!

kitschandfancy

This sugar scrub, exfoliating goat’s milk soap and natural lip balm will leave you and your maids glowing. There are tons of scents to choose from here.

organic soap

In scents like lavender lemongrass, orange patchouli walnut, and rosewood, these organic soaps are not only gorgeous—they give back. For each bar you purchase, Poppy Soap Co. donates a bar to a local women’s shelter.

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This at-home facial kit is perfect for a spa party in your living room. Set up stations for manicures, pedicures and facials and then have girls switch off.

Bridal Shower Favors from ModCloth

Uhm, you guys, I am so freaking excited. And may I tell you why? ModCloth has started a line of home goods! When did this happen and why did I not know about it before Christmas?? They are clearly selling everything like hotcakes as new items are appearing daily and sold-out items reappearing due to demand. We’ll soon be rolling in delightfully cute elephant salt shakers and world-shaped cork boards. I’ve brought together some charming little creatures that would be perfect as bridal shower favors. All work out to less than $15 a guest, and sometimes much less. The mini mason jars are $50 for a set of 12, including straws! My personal favorite? The vintage-style birdcage hooks.

ultimate bridesmaid bridal shower favors from modcloth

Shop the entire ModCloth home goods collection here.

From Bridesmaiding: Choose Your Wedding Wines…With Friends!

BMAIDLOGO_tag_pinkgrayTwitter is a marvelous creation. It helped me meet Rachel, a fellow bridesmaid blogger who shares cost-saving tips, bridesmaid adventures gone right and wrong, and much, much more at Bridesmaiding.com. Her most recent brilliant idea: Turn choosing your wedding wines into a party! Why didn’t I think of this?

Screen Shot 2012-12-19 at 1.58.07 PMRachel’s friends turned the truly daunting task of selecting the wines to serve at their wedding into an excuse to invite some of their bridal party over for a night of fun. The bride has to check this off her list and it involves consuming copious amounts of alcohol, so why not incorporate it into the bachelorette party or an evening shower? The whole bridal party could take part or you could just invite over local attendants (make sure they bring cheese!). Check out the entire post and Rachel’s how-to guide to putting the party together here.

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

Not every bride wants lace and glitter. This quirky card is sweet and simple with cheeky lips and mustache and a delicate dotted and filigree border.

This shimmering letterpress option is simple yet striking. The metallic diamond is bold and striking against the natural grain of the paper and the typography screams Deco chic.

Let’s get serious. Nothing says “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” like a bottle of wine. These peel-and-stick labels can be customized with your name and wedding colors, then apply to the wine of your choice. You could also adapt these to be a thank you gift to your maids on the day of the wedding by asking for a design that says “Thank you for being my bridesmaid.”

A card after my own bibliophile heart! This personalized crossword puzzle comes with the answers printed on the back and can be customized to your wedding colors.

Bold typography, a cute arrow motif and customizable color palettes with names like “sugar plum” or “lemon squeeze” make this card cute as can be.

Best of: Etsy Bridesmaid Gifts

A roundup of a few of my favorite finds on Etsy right now.

A classy lady needs a classy flask, am I right? Groomsmen can’t have all the fun. The high-heeled boot and vintage-looking wash say “I’m a lady, but I can hold my liquor.”

You spent so much time on those wedding photos, why not present your maids with rustic custom frames to display them? Send the seller a picture of your bridesmaids’ dresses and he’ll hand draw a gown to match, then burn it into the wood along with your maid’s name.

Supply your girls with comfy and cute handprinted TOMS so they can dance the night away.

Perfect for those bridesmaid survival kits I know you’re planning on making. The seller will also personalize with your names, wedding date—whatever you want!

These button-front kaftans will look great and keep you from messing up your hair and makeup while getting ready the day of the wedding. Available in long or short styles, drawstring or buttons. The silk floral prints are stunning!

Why not just get them something cute? These patterned wristlets are sweet as can be with a dainty bow and perfect for storing their essentials the day of the wedding. No bulky bags, but cell, gloss, etc on hand.