Author Archives: Caitlin Kenney

A Modern Pink and Gold Tea Party Shower

Everyone should have a best friend in the wedding business. It always seems to result in beautiful bridal showers, like the pink and gold tea party Rachel of Blue Barn Photography threw in Raleigh, North Carolina, for her best friend Aly. The inspiration for the theme came from Aly’s love of vintage teapots, so Rachel borrowed delicate, colorful vintage china from her own mother and mother-in-law as well as Aly’s mom to create a cleverly mismatched set. Rachel found the fringed photobooth backdrop project on Pinterest and the other bridesmaids jumped in to assemble it the day of the shower. While the pink sodas and rosy teacups kept the theme undeniably girly, pops of gold and white throughout gave this tea party a chic moden spin.  Venue: Pullen House

Photography and Paper Goods: Blue Barn Photography

Photobooth Project Inspiration: Confetti Sunshine

Photobooth Props: Ruffled

LastBash: A Bachelorette Weekend Planning Tool

As anyone who has planned a bachelorette weekend will tell you, it can get stressful. There are so many moving pieces to manage, from choosing the date and location that works for most of the guests to managing the guest list, communicating expenses, booking activities and coordinating special touches for the bride. Just take a look at my step-by-step guide to planning a bachelorette weekend…I can feel your stress building. So imagine my joy when I stumbled across LastBash. It’s like a supercharged evite, with tons of planning tools like private message boards and expense tracking, that’s totally dedicated to organizing your bachelorette weekend—and completely free! Here’s a look at how it works.
Screen Shot 2013-06-27 at 12.20.17 PMFirst, you set up a page for your event. This will serve as an invitation, but will also create a wall where everyone can comment, allowing you to communicate easily with the guests and get their input quickly. You can also initiate private messages so you can loop in a few guests (like the other bridesmaids) without involving everyone. One of my absolute favorite features is the ability to create polls. This eliminates all the confusion of sorting through emails to see which date or location works for most of your guests.
Screen Shot 2013-06-27 at 11.45.08 AMYou can also add activities that guests can RSVP for separately. For example, maybe you slot in the limo company you’re expecting to rent from and their rate. Then if another guest finds a better rate she can let you know. Or you can list optional activities, like going to the spa for facials and pedicures and the girls can let you know if they’d like to attend. You can also share your flight itineraries and contact information, so you know when everyone will arrive and how to get in touch with them.Screen Shot 2013-06-27 at 11.41.39 AMFinally, there’s a panel for expenses, which lets you easily share costs and keep track of who has paid for what. Asking your friends for money can be one of the most delicate subjects, so having everything organized and out in the open takes away some of the stress and also serves as a reminder to your guests to pay up (so you don’t get stuck with the bill!).
Screen Shot 2013-06-27 at 11.45.49 AMOverall, I love this concept. With a crisp, clean design and lots of features that keep all the details of your party together and streamline communication with your guests, Last Bash is the perfect tool to take some of the stress out of planning your bachelorette weekend.

An Antique Vermont Cabin Bridal Shower

Soft candlelight, a rustic wood cabin, long-stem roses, strawberries and champagne—all you could ever need for warm country elegance. While a light summer rain fell outside, the ladies were comfy and cozy in the gorgeous home of bride Jen’s future mother-in-law in Woodstock, Vermont. Jen’s family secretively drove up from Maryland to help surprise the bride, and sister and professional wedding photographer Laura Elizabeth captured each sweet shot of the day. It’s obvious that Jen was moved by the love that went in to planning this surprise—so many of these images are full of emotion (ladies dabbing tears of joy at the table just melts my heart)! The home’s stunning collection of antique tables, wingback chairs and lush oriental rugs lends a sophisticated warmth to the rustic New England lodge. Decorating idea I’m stealing: single long-stem roses at each place setting—it’s so unexpected but undeniably romantic.

Q&A: When the Other Bridesmaids Won’t Help

What to do when the other bridesmaids wont helpQ: I’m the maid of honor in my best friend Ashley’s wedding this summer and four of her other friends are bridesmaids. I’m not close with any of them, but I’ve been trying to get them to help me with planning the shower. The all originally agreed to chip in, but now they hardly ever respond to my emails and when they do it’s usually to say that they’re too busy to help out. I know I can’t force these girls to be involved, but I just don’t understand why they won’t contribute at all!

A: First of all, I feel your pain. It’s difficult to be paired up with girls who you don’t know very well and who don’t seem to want to contribute beyond showing up on the wedding day. It can be especially hard when you aren’t close friends with the other bridesmaids, because you have no frame of reference on why they would act this way. You can’t help but think, are they always like this? It’s hard to know what’s causing this, but it could be that they just aren’t as interested in the details of the shower as you. If they’ve never been a bridesmaid before, they may be unfamiliar with what the duties involve outside of the wedding day. And there’s always the sticker shock of a first-time bridesmaid—cost is a tricky subject when budgets are tight and everyone is already paying big money for a dress or travel to the wedding.

That said, if the girls signed on to help and are now backing out, something is up. If you’ve had some negative interactions with them and feel like there’s tension between you and the other girls, then it could be helpful to try and start fresh. When you’re writing emails to them, try to always make it positive and about Ashley—that’s your connection. Be careful not to “blame” them or say anything that seems like an attack. Read your emails over before you send them and delete anything that sounds like criticism. They’ll never help you out if they think you’re against them or have turned into a “MOH-zilla.” You could send them an email that says something like this:

“Ashley’s shower is coming up and I’m really excited to share this special day with her and all her best girl friends! There are still a few things that need to get done before the party. I’m hoping that we can split these up and would really appreciate your help. I know Ashley is going to be so surprised and touched with everything we’re planning and I think she’d love for everyone to be involved. I can’t wait to see her face when she sees [detail from the shower]. Here’s a list of what we need to get done. Can you all let me know what you’d be able to help with? I can’t believe there are only a few weeks until the wedding! Email or text back soon so we can get everything set. Thanks!”

If you only go to the other bridesmaids for the necessities there may also be less drama. Try to send only a few emails and keep them polite, but short and to the point: what you need from them and when you need to know.

If it seems like you’re way past this point or you’ve tried something like that in the past with no luck, another option is to move forward with limited interaction with the other girls. It isn’t required for all the bridesmaids to contribute to the shower and the person who throws a shower varies in every scenario. While some groups will have the bridesmaids band together, other times just the maid of honor throws the shower or it could be thrown by a relative or family friend. It’s tough to take on the burden of planning everything, but you may have to just accept that you’re going to do the bulk of the work.

Next, ask yourself if there’s a person you’ve overlooked who could be an asset. Do you and Ashley have a mutual friend who is not a bridesmaid but will be coming to the shower and wedding? If so, see if you can recruit her to help you with the plans. It wouldn’t be appropriate to ask her to help pay for the shower, but she could be a big help with making decisions, putting things together, decorating…whatever needs to get done to make this shower happen! You could also find an ally in the bride’s mom. If you need help, reach out to her to see if she’d be willing to cohost the shower with you or give her input on the details.

Lastly and I think most importantly, no matter what try to maintain a civil relationship with the other bridesmaids. I know that’s hard when you’re tearing your hair out, but it’s the best thing you can do for your friend. I always try to tell myself that whatever stress I’m feeling about the wedding, the bride’s has got to be 10 times worse. The last thing I’d want to do is add to her stress by creating a bridesmaid infight. When you want to explode at the other girls, just remember that the bride must like them for some reason! Concentrate on Ashley and try to just let the other stuff go. In the end, the day’s about her—but you already know that.

Have a tough question you’d like to submit for the next Ultimate Bridesmaid Q&A? Leave it anonymously in the comments or email us at ultimatebridesmaid@gmail.com. 

Summer Vacation: Nova Scotia and Maine

If you noticed a week’s absence, it was because I was busy boycotting all digital communication during my week of vacation. The boyfriend and I took a trip to his family cabin in Nova Scotia followed by a few days at a relaxing resort in Bar Harbor, Maine.

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We started the trip with three days in Nova Scotia. We spent one day in Halifax, where we sampled brews at Alexander Keith’s Brewery. This is legitamately the only IPA I have ever enjoyed in my life. It was so bubbly and crisp, completely unlike the bitter concoctions I’ve sampled in the States. We also stopped at Peggy’s Cove lighthouse around sunset, where I discovered Lobster Lane!

IMG_1989I attempted to enjoy some form of lobster at least once a day. I got it in during breakfast with some delicious scrambled eggs and homemade bread at Kiwi Cafe in Chester and at dinner at The Trellis Cafe near Hubbards with some decadent lobster ravioli. These restaurants were my two favorites of the entire trip. Highly recommended! 

946425_909707915953_1986509901_nOn our last day in Nova Scotia we took a drive down the southern coast in an attempt to stop at a section of Kejimkujik National Park, but were thwarted by a dirt road that we weren’t quite sure our rental car could handle. We did manage to find a beautiful rocky shoreline nearby and hiked up and down the coast checking out tide pools and some seriously colorful seaweed. I admit that I did not think seaweed could be pretty, but you haven’t experienced real seaweed until you see it in the northeast.  Continue reading →

Do I Have to Open Gifts at My Bridal Shower?

I recently came across an article on a popular bridal website about opening gifts at the shower. The reader asks if it’s necessary to open gifts at the shower and the writer replies “‘Fraid so, since receiving gifts—and opening them—is the main focus of a shower.” She then goes on to recommend that you “figure out a few gracious stock responses that you can use after unwrapping each gift (“Thank you so much—I love it!” or “Oh, wow—how gorgeous!” are good ones)” and maybe even “recruit a witty friend” to “oooh and ahhh where appropriate.”

HOLY HECK! This is the worst advice I’ve ever heard. Practice sounding appreciative?!? Stand in front of the mirror and repeat “Oh wow—how gorgeous” until it sounds sincere?!?! Recruit a “witty friend” to fill dead air?!?! Oh my GOD! Do not do this!

View More: http://dyannajoyphotography.pass.us/kellie-bridal-shower

Photo courtesy of Dyanna Joy Photography.

Saying that the purpose of a bridal shower is to receive and open gifts is like saying that receiving gifts is the purpose of any party—birthdays, housewarmings, graduation. It is not! The purpose of a shower should be to gather with all the women in your life to celebrate your upcoming marriage. Can gifts be involved? Of course! But making them the centerpiece of the shower is one of the reasons bridal showers have a bad rep. This is why people think showers are boring! No one likes watching people open presents for two hours.

Do I think you should open your gifts at the party? Yes, I do. Does everyone have to sit around you in a circle and ooh and ahh (possibly only because they have been selected as your witty friend, though how this is witty I don’t know)? Nope!

Here are some ideas for making gift opening more enjoyable for everyone and less awkward for you, all of which do not involve you acting fake or recruiting friends to save you when things get awkward.

  • Pick a gift from the gift table and then find the giver. Privately open it with the giver so they can see your reaction and so you can thank them right away, then place the open gift back on the table so others can see it if they’re interested in what you’re received. This eliminates the awkward “gift opening circle” but still allows you to show your appreciation to your guests for bringing a gift.
  • If you have only a few gifts to open, go ahead and do it all at once, but encourage guests to eat and drink while you’re opening. Have some music playing so that the mood is still festive and no one feels like the party has ground to a halt just because you’re opening gifts.
  • Open the gifts while standing by the gift table. Again, this encourages movement and will keep the guests from settling into boring present lethargy. It will be easy for you to run over and give someone a hug instead of those awkward sitting hugs. Ugh.
  • If you do want to recruit a helper, ask them to make this announcement (or make it yourself): “Carrie is going to open her gifts, but she really wants you all to keep having fun! Feel free to keep the party going if you’re not interested in how many blenders she’s going to receive!”

No matter how or when you open your gifts, I think it’s important to send a thank you note. Some people may find this old fashioned, but if you’ve ever received a thoughtful thank you note, you know how warm and fuzzy it makes you feel. Make sure the women in your life know that you appreciate them by sending a note that thanks them for coming to your shower, mentions their gift and shows them how much you love it.