Category Archives: Bridesmaids

The Bride’s Pledge to Her Bridesmaids

Last week I shared my slightly cheeky but heartfelt Bridesmaid’s Pledge to the Bride. Well, it’s only fair that the bride make a few commitments to her maids as well. After all, the bride really sets the tone for the wedding festivities—a relaxed bride makes all the difference. For me, what’s most important is remembering that even though wedding planning is stressful, you still need to be there for your best girlfriends just as they are there for you. This would be a great Will You Be My Bridesmaid idea!

A Bride’s Pledge to her Bridesmaids

I, [insert your name here], being of sound mind and happy heart, joyfully ask you to be my bridesmaid. I pledge to uphold the following provisions and ask that the bridesmaids uphold the points set out in the Bridesmaid’s Pledge to the Bride.

I pledge to make no demands, as I understand that friends do not demand things of each other.

I pledge to remember that while this wedding is consuming my life, you still have one. I ask that you excuse me if I talk too much about calla lilies. I still love you and want to hear about your life, so tell me what’s up.

I pledge to be conscious of your budget throughout this endeavor and to be understanding should you be unable to attend a bachelorette party or shower due to cost or distance. I will miss you, but I will understand.

I pledge to try not to share every single wedding detail with you—unless you’re really into this shit, in which case, let’s talk taffeta!

I pledge to choose a bridesmaid dress at a reasonable cost and in a style and color that I actually think will look good on you.

I pledge to let you wear your hair however you desire.

I pledge to try not to freak out if things don’t go exactly how I planned. I ask that you let me know, gently, if I am being insane.

I pledge to remember that our friendship is more important than any little detail and that the most important thing is that you’ll be there by my side on my wedding day.

Most importantly, I pledge to be what I pledged to be the day we became friends: there for you through it all, the best friend I can be.

Want a copy to email to or print for brides in your life? Download the PDF here: The Bride’s Pledge to Her Bridesmaids.

And don’t forget to take a look at our companion pledge: The Bridesmaid’s Pledge to the Bride.

(Adorable photo of my friend Amanda and her sister via Alicia Lauren Photography.)

The Bridesmaid’s Pledge to the Bride

I love, love, love getting emails from my readers and I’m so honored that many of you have trusted me with bridesmaid-related problems that have arisen and asked for my advice. Some of these problems have the potential to cause a lot of heartache between friends, so the most wonderful feeling for me is when I’m able to help someone resolve an issue without them jeopardizing their friendship with the bride or bridesmaid. I’ve realized that a lot of the time we just need to be reminded of what is most important. So I decided to ask myself, “When I sign up to be a bridesmaid, what am I promising my friend? What are the givens, the things I can guarantee? And what do I expect from the bride in return?” I thought about the kind of friend I want to be, the things I want to do for my brides and the type of bride I’d like to be as well. I wrote down every little issue that might arise, from tiny annoyances to major troubles, and summed it all up in two “pledges,” one for the bridesmaids and one for the bride. Ok, some of these are not totally serious, but it is all heartfelt (though I am totally serious about no undergarment-shaped baked good—if I see one more corset cookie…). What’s most important is to remember to be there for your friend, above all else—to be kind, to be patient, to be loving, and to just generally continue to be the friend you’ve always been.

The Bridesmaid’s Pledge to the Bride

I, [insert your name here], being of sound mind and happy heart, joyfully agree to be your bridesmaid. I pledge to uphold the following provisions and ask that the bride uphold the points set out in the Bride’s Pledge to Her Bridesmaids.

I pledge to bring laughter and smiles into your life whenever you’re feeling stressed.

I pledge to take your frantic calls regarding cake decorators and try my hardest to take your concerns regarding buttercream versus fondant seriously.

I pledge to hold my tongue if I do not like the flowers, venue, and/or color scheme you pick for your wedding. I will remember that it is your wedding, not mine, and that I am your bridesmaid, not your event planner.

I pledge to attend your bachelorette party and bridal shower, if distance and finances permit, and I ask that if I can’t come, you know that it’s not because I don’t want to be there. I know you might be sad, but I ask that you understand.

I pledge to wear whatever bridesmaid dress you deem perfect for your special day, though I ask that it not be too shiny or too tight.

I pledge to be a source of positivity and encouragement to you.

I pledge to be on time the day of the wedding (despite any previous difficulties with punctuality).

I pledge to help calm your nerves as we wait for the ceremony, be it with drugs and alcohol or hugs and squeals.

Maid of honor clause:

I pledge to plan a bachelorette party you will actually enjoy. It will be classy, it will be fun, but most importantly, it will be you. There shall be no objects shaped like a penis and absolutely no baked goods in the shape of undergarments or shoes.

I pledge that your bridal shower shall not involve gowns made of toilet paper.

I pledge to toast you at your wedding. I pledge not to mention your ex’s or that one time in Cabo, and I pledge not to have too much to drink before the toast (afterwards, all bets are off).

Most importantly, I pledge to be what I pledged to be the day we became friends: there for you through it all, the best friend I can be.

****

Brides, make sure to check back soon for the Bride’s Pledge to her Bridesmaids so you can keep up your end of the bargain!

Want a copy to email to or print for your ladies? Download the PDF here: The Bridesmaid’s Pledge to the Bride.

(Adorable photo of my friend Amanda and her sister via Alicia Lauren Photography.)

A Sunshine and Wine Bridal Party Luncheon

Bride Jess went above and beyond for her bridal party luncheon with a wine tasting at Firestone Vineyards near Santa Barbara, California. Cheerful sunflowers dotted the tables in the outdoor picnic area as the ladies sipped citrusy izze sodas and noshed on cheese plates, one seriously impressive submarine sandwich and delicate French macarons. And can we talk about the bride’s style? I’m crushing over her cream knit lace dress and asymmetric bauble necklace. Photographer Nicole of Sorella Muse couldn’t help but enjoy herself throughout the wedding weekend as Jess encouraged her to take time out to just be in the moment—Nicole even gave a speech at the rehearsal dinner! Jess ended the bridal luncheon with a special gift bag for each of her maids—get the full list of her stylish picks below!

Venue: Firestone Vineyard

Photography: Sorella Muse Photography

Catering: Succulent Cafe

In the bridesmaid gift bags: Stella and Dot soiree stud earrings, TOMS in Earthwise Pink, Arden Living candle in lemon ginger, essie nail polish, BCBGeneration neon yellow LA tank, and monogrammed button-down for bridal prep!

Free Bachelorette Party Photography from Dina Litovsky

How would you like to have an award-winning photographer shoot your bachelorette party—for free? Dina Litovsky’s bachelorette photography series has won international awards, including first place in the prestigious International Photography Awards (2011, Culture), for her exploration of this rite of female bonding and empowerment. Here’s how it works: Dina tags along on bachelorette parties in the New York and New Jersey area. (She’s open to other locations, but a travel fee may apply. Contact her for details.) The bride chooses which activities and events she wants photographed, be it just a couple of hours or every moment of the destination weekend. After all the festivities, the bride receives about 100 photos of the event, including group shots and details, and Dina uses one or two in her photography series. For further details, email Dina at dina@stregoica.com. Knowing that Dina has attended a lot of bachelorette parties, Ultimate Bridesmaid just had to ask for her take on what the bachelorette stands for—and how she got interested in photographing them in the first place!

UB: So, how did you first decide to start shooting bachelorette parties?

Dina: Even though I lived in NYC for more than 20 years, I never fully “Americanized” [Ed note: Dina’s originally from the Ukraine.] and I didn’t have a bachelorette party when I got married. I attended my first one shortly after and was really fascinated by it. Mixed with all the drinking and partying there were so many tender, emotional moments. That really drew me in.

UB: There’s this idea that the bachelorette party is a kind of “girls gone wild” event, often involving strippers and all kinds of craziness. Have you found that to be true in the parties you shoot? Or are we moving toward different kinds of bachelorette parties?

Dina: I have shot several parties with strippers, but I have also shot events with spa retreats and tea parties. I do see the bachelorette party’s main idea to push some boundaries. These boundaries are very different for everyone, for some girls getting a stripper is a natural thing to do while others would find it really unpleasant and getting a penis-shaped cake is as wild as they are willing to go. It’s really an individual decision.

UB: In your opinion, what’s behind the bachelorette party tradition or what should it be about?

Dina: It’s not a well-known fact but the bachelorette party actually has roots in the feminist culture of the 1970s. It is really the first culturally accepted ritual that celebrates a woman’s freedom and sexuality. Before this, women only had the bridal shower where they were given recipes, kitchenware and were advised on how to be a good wife. Men, on the other hand had the fun and wild bachelor party. Creating the bachelorette party evened out the playing field.

UB: All the personal photographs I have from bachelorette parties are notoriously terrible. It’s usually too dark to get a good picture or we’re in places that are way too crowded. Any tips for capturing great photos at night?

Dina: Flash is definitely a must when shooting an event like this. However I think most bachelorette parties are blurry or dark because everyone at the party is drinking! I can never take a good picture while drunk, that’s why I am the only one staying sober and shooting all the action.

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View more images from Dina’s award-winning bachelorette series here and contact her to set up your own free bachelorette party shoot at dina@stregoica.com.

Will You Be My Bridesmaid Cards from Allie Ruth

Asking your best friends to share your special day as your bridesmaids and maid of honor can be very emotional for both of you (let’s be real, I have cried). And the scrapbooker in me loves the idea of a card or small gift to commemorate that moment. Enter these vibrant floral “Will You Be My Bridesmaid?” cards from designer Allie Ruth. My favorite part? The delicate hand lettering, which makes each card feel one of a kind. Allie paired up with photographer Misti Fraser for a bridesmaid mini shoot to show off these stunning cards. Check out Allie’s entire collection here, including bridesmaid hankies. Allie Ruth bridesmaid cards | Misti Fraser Photography

Happy 4th!

Hope you’re on a beach, enjoying a BBQ, or gearing up for fireworks to celebrate the 4th! Or just enjoy this retro bachelorette shoot by Ricky Stern. Check out the whole Miami Beach bachelorette party here!

LastBash: A Bachelorette Weekend Planning Tool

As anyone who has planned a bachelorette weekend will tell you, it can get stressful. There are so many moving pieces to manage, from choosing the date and location that works for most of the guests to managing the guest list, communicating expenses, booking activities and coordinating special touches for the bride. Just take a look at my step-by-step guide to planning a bachelorette weekend…I can feel your stress building. So imagine my joy when I stumbled across LastBash. It’s like a supercharged evite, with tons of planning tools like private message boards and expense tracking, that’s totally dedicated to organizing your bachelorette weekend—and completely free! Here’s a look at how it works.
First, you set up a page for your event. This will serve as an invitation, but will also create a wall where everyone can comment, allowing you to communicate easily with the guests and get their input quickly. You can also initiate private messages so you can loop in a few guests (like the other bridesmaids) without involving everyone. One of my absolute favorite features is the ability to create polls. This eliminates all the confusion of sorting through emails to see which date or location works for most of your guests.
You can also add activities that guests can RSVP for separately. For example, maybe you slot in the limo company you’re expecting to rent from and their rate. Then if another guest finds a better rate she can let you know. Or you can list optional activities, like going to the spa for facials and pedicures and the girls can let you know if they’d like to attend. You can also share your flight itineraries and contact information, so you know when everyone will arrive and how to get in touch with them.Finally, there’s a panel for expenses, which lets you easily share costs and keep track of who has paid for what. Asking your friends for money can be one of the most delicate subjects, so having everything organized and out in the open takes away some of the stress and also serves as a reminder to your guests to pay up (so you don’t get stuck with the bill!).
Overall, I love this concept. With a crisp, clean design and lots of features that keep all the details of your party together and streamline communication with your guests, Last Bash is the perfect tool to take some of the stress out of planning your bachelorette weekend.