Q: My parents are renewing their wedding vows and I will be the maid of honor and my brother is the best man. I’m having a hard time writing my speech as I am a little shy in front of crowds, and also because my parents (obviously) are so very close to me. I want it to be a very special moment.

A: Even though you are feeling a lot of pressure, I actually think you are really lucky to be giving a speech to your parents, and you have a lot of options! One of the hardest things about giving a good maid of honor speech is that sometimes we don’t know enough about the groom or the couple’s relationship to make the speech truly personal. We tend to have lots of memories with the bride, but not a ton of true insight into her relationship with her groom. But you’re in an amazing position—you’ve been around for many of the special moments in your parents’ lives! That said, I totally understand that making speeches can be intimidating. Here are a few ideas to help customize your speech and make the moment special for your family.

1. The first thing I would do is jot down a few notes of special memories that you have of your family. Think about the things that make you unique as a group—your traditions, your quirks, your favorite vacation, a famous mishap that you always tell at holidays. Then think about why those moments are special to you.

2. You can talk about what you’ve learned about marriage from your parents. As we grow up, we often subconsciously look to our parents to find out what makes a good marriage—and sometimes what doesn’t! This could be a heartwarming ending to your speech after sharing a story or two, to turn it back to what those stories taught you and how your parents have inspired you.

3. You could also team up with your brother and give a joint speech. It may take away some of the jitters to have him talking as well. Challenge each other to tell the sappiest story about your parents—or the silliest.

4. If public speaking is really freaking you out, or you just want to take a different route, you could also make a photo slideshow and narrate. You can pick funny or sweet photos of your parents that show their relationship from the beginning, including yourself and your brother. Everyone loves looking back at old memories and since all eyes will be on the images it might take a little of the pressure off you!