Best of: Etsy Bridesmaid Gifts

A roundup of a few of my favorite finds on Etsy right now.

A classy lady needs a classy flask, am I right? Groomsmen can’t have all the fun. The high-heeled boot and vintage-looking wash say “I’m a lady, but I can hold my liquor.”

You spent so much time on those wedding photos, why not present your maids with rustic custom frames to display them? Send the seller a picture of your bridesmaids’ dresses and he’ll hand draw a gown to match, then burn it into the wood along with your maid’s name.

Supply your girls with comfy and cute handprinted TOMS so they can dance the night away.

Perfect for those bridesmaid survival kits I know you’re planning on making. The seller will also personalize with your names, wedding date—whatever you want!

These button-front kaftans will look great and keep you from messing up your hair and makeup while getting ready the day of the wedding. Available in long or short styles, drawstring or buttons. The silk floral prints are stunning!

Why not just get them something cute? These patterned wristlets are sweet as can be with a dainty bow and perfect for storing their essentials the day of the wedding. No bulky bags, but cell, gloss, etc on hand.

1920s Party Inspiration

Decadence, glamor, candlelight and alcohol—what more do you need for a classy bachelorette party or swanky shower? Channel the Roaring 20s with a speakeasy vibe, strong cocktails and tiny canapes. This is a great theme for an at-home party as it instantly fancies things up. Here are some simple tips for creating a 1920s vibe.

A room with dark wood or brick walls is the perfect setting for your speakeasy 1920s soiree. Choose deep, rich colors as your accents, like burgundys and mauves, and don’t be afraid to throw in a few peacock feathers. I love the vintage Deco prints used as placecards here. A vintage tarot deck could be put to use in the same way with absolutely striking results.

Visit Grandma’s house or local flea markets to look for vintage pieces that will make an impact. A lace tablecloth would be delicate and striking, but make sure it’s not a family heirloom (real lace is incredibly expensive!). An old radio or typewriter will set the mood and is much likely to end up with red wine all over it.

Prohibition meant unmarked bottles and secret cocktail lounges. Since you probably want your guests to know what they’re drinking, think about decanting your liquors into beautiful bottles with your own labels. The bar instantly feels like an exclusive destination.

Don’t have an old library cart? A bookshelf can easily double as a bar. Line up glassware on an old silver tray if you have it. A mirror is a great alternative. Add candles at night for shimmer or flowers for a daytime event.

During Prohibition, the quality of alcohol was pretty low, so big batches of punch were a good way to make a little liquor go a long way and mask the taste. You can make a high-class (and way tastier) version, like this pomegranate champagne punch. Note that it uses one large ice block, another authentic detail to the era. For a really large one like this, fill a loaf pan or metal bowl with water and freeze. For individual cocktails, you can buy king-size ice cube trays like these.

When it comes to wardrobe, you can carry the theme a little, a lot or not at all. If you want to add a little 1920s vibe but not put pressure on all the ladies to buy complete ensembles, nothing says flapper like headwear. A scarf, a velvet cap, a feather—it all looks good. Add a long strand of pearls or elbow-length evening gloves to almost any outfit and you’re all set.

Inspiration from Wedding Chicks, Green Wedding Shoes, and Ruffled.

Bridesmaid on a Budget

Q: A friend has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, but I’m worried about how much it will cost. I’m on a very tight budget now and the bride doesn’t plan on having an inexpensive wedding. I’m already going to have to fly down for the ceremony, but I don’t think I can afford taking other trips for showers or bachelorette parties. And I know she’s going to want us to buy a designer dress. What should I do?

A: Trust me, you are not alone in this. The cost of being a bridesmaid can be extremely high. If there will be a bridal shower and bachelorette party to travel to, you may end up paying for three flights, three hotels, and three gifts before the big day arrives. That’s not to mention food and alcohol during these occasions. And some bridal parties will ask their guests to chip in for special events: spa days, bar crawls, a limo, favors, decorations. For the actual wedding day you’ll be purchasing a gown that can cost between $150 and $300. You may be asked to have your hair and makeup done, which will set you back another $150 at least, and you may have to purchase particular shoes and jewelry as well. This all costs money.

So what can you do?

1. It is okay to say “no.” I know this is hard to hear because chances are you really do want to be in your friend’s wedding. (If you don’t want to be a bridesmaid, you should have said “no” in the first place.) But your friend is asking you to be her bridesmaid, not telling you. If you know that the cost of this wedding is going to be way outside your comfort zone, tell the bride that you’re honored that she asked you, but that you’re just not financially able to do it right now. Tell her you cannot wait to spend time with her on her big day, but that your situation only allows you to spend money on the flight to the wedding.

Yes, the bride may be disappointed, even mad. If she’s really your friend, she will get over it. You’ll also save both of you some headaches and heartaches. You’re going to be stressing out every time you click “buy” and she may be stressed out that she’s asking too much of you. If you have to constantly remind her that you’re on a budget, she may feel annoyed or harassed. You might be doing both of you a favor by opting out. However, you have to make this decision up front. Saying “yes” and then backing out later will cause hurt feelings and make the bride feel like you’re punishing her. Once you’re in, you’re in.

2. Talk to the bride about her expectations. Saying “no” not an option? Call the bride and tell her that you’re worried about costs since money is tight right now and that you want to put together a budget for yourself. Presenting it this way will keep the bride from feeling like you’re complaining to her about how much she’s asking you to spend. Say: “I want to get a general idea of how much everything will cost so I can plan ahead.” Ask her what she’s thinking about for parties and apparel. Will any of the parties be within driving distance? Will the bridal shower and bachelorette party be combined? Does she have a price point in mind for dresses? Once you know the costs, figure out how much of it you can afford. Tip: When the maid of honor starts planning the bachelorette party or bridal shower, ask her up front how much it will cost before you RSVP “yes.” This way you can avoid hidden costs. You don’t want to sign up for the party and then find out the bride wants to go on a cruise or rent out a restaurant—and you’ll be footing the bill.

3. Present your plan to the bride. Once you know the costs, come up with a plan. The easiest way to save money is to opt out of the pre-wedding festivities. There’s a chance the bride will be upset about this, but hopefully your friend will understand that you have to prioritize. Suggest to the bride or maid of honor that you combine shower and bachelorette events into one day or weekend. That’s one less trip to worry about and will be appealing to all the attendees (who doesn’t love a big party weekend versus lots of commitments spread out over months?). If you’re looking for smaller ways to save money while still attending all the events, consider these options: Continue reading →

Will You Be My Bridesmaid Stamp

Let’s admit it: We’ve all swooned over those sweet “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” kerchiefs. You know the ones I mean: vintage printed hankies with a little message scrawled in the center. But almost $30 a pop, the price can add up pretty fast, especially if you have a lot of bridesmaids. So imagine my surprise and joy when I stumbled on this “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” stamp from Southern Fried Paper! You can DIY as many hankies as you like for the price of one from some other retailers! The stamp is available in a classic cursive and floral motif. Just purchase hankies at the nearest flea market or make your own with a few yards of fabric and some iron-on hemming tape.

My Favorite Things Bridal Shower

No, I’m not talking about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. I’m talking about channeling Oprah for a “My Favorite Things” bridal shower, a versatile theme that allows you to present the bride with a huge range of gifts and also get all the guests participating without much fuss. (I love Julie Andrews as much as the next woman, but when it comes to gift-giving, go to the master.) This is also a great low-budget theme. It’s best done at home and the cost is split between guests, but still quite low per person. Dinner or lunch is pot luck–style and the gifts can be small and personal in nature.

For your meal, ask each guest to make her favorite dish. To do this well will require a little bit of planning and coordinating on the part of the host, but it will be worth it in the end. After sharing the theme with the guests, create a Google doc or email list with different slots for the courses: appetizers, mains, sides, desserts or drinks. This way you can be sure you’ll have a balanced meal. You can also ask guests to call you with their preference if you have older guests who don’t email. As the host, you should take on the main dish, but can defer if one guest is really eager or agrees to step in if cooking isn’t your forte. In this case, make sure to invite this guest to cook in your kitchen if they’d like. Everyone else should prepare their dishes at home and be ready to serve or just reheat at your place. But since main dishes can be hard to transfer and require more prep, offer up your kitchen if someone volunteers to shoulder this task.

Have each guest email you a week or so before the shower with the name of their dish so you can make up a menu (great for scrapbooks later!). Also ask each guest to bring an index card with their recipe. You can send out custom cards with the invite or let guests make their own. You can buy a recipe box (check Micheal’s or The Container Store for a start) or make one yourself by purchasing a box at your local craft store. Add all the recipes at the shower and present it to the bride as one of her gifts. You can also ask the guests to send you a Word doc with their recipe and put together a book for the bride. Use a binder and sheet protectors or get fancy and have a book printed using a service like lulu.com. I’ve made cookbooks for my family using their service and the finished product is very nice.


For the gifts, each guest should bring one or a few of her favorite things. It can be a beauty product, kitchen gadget, gift card for a clothing brand, food product, decorative item, piece of jewelry—anything! Along with a recipe card, send each guest a card for their gift as well and ask them to jot down a quick line explaining why this thing is so great! Then ask the bride to read each card and guess which guest chose each thing.

Send the guests home with a few of the bride’s favorite things as their party favor. Or a brand-new car. Whichever you can manage.

Bridesmaid Gifts from Lydali

I’m super excited to bring you a roundup of bridesmaid gifts from Lydali, a line of global handmade goods that connects you with artistans in developing countries around the globe. Oh, and it just so happens to be cofounded by my freshmen-year roommate, Ali Price! I’m so happy to see Ali’s business taking off and super impressed with the gorgeous collection she and her business partner (and fellow Wake Forest grad) Lydia Harter have curated. Here are a few of my favorite items, which would all be beautiful (and socially conscious) gifts for brides to give their maids. Ali was also nice enough to share a little about how her business got started, her tips for others hoping to do the same, and even a few special memories from her own wedding. Check out her interview below!

These banana bark and fabric bangles are absolutely stunning and highly stackable. Each bangle is handmade in Tanzania, where women peel the bark from the trees, treat it, then turn it into bangles with the help of colorful locally produced fabrics. $35 for a set of three

These soft cotton clutches handmade in Guatemala make perfect makeup bags or pouches for bridesmaid emergency kits. I particularly love the coral diamond print and the two-tone tassels. $24

I couldn’t resist adding a second set of clutches because they made me think about needlepoint in a new way. I’ve always associated this craft with bygone eras, but seeing it here in modern colors and striking florals (gotta love the pomegranate flower!) made me swoon. The bags come straight to you from a folk art fair in Uzbekistan. $25

I’ve always been a sucker for a leather-bound book and this one is no exception. These 40-page honey-colored journals are made by women in Northern India and the proceeds go to funding literacy in the region. $15

UB: So tell me about starting Lydali! How did you get the idea?

Ali: I was in Bali last year and I started talking to one of my friends who lived in Bali and was working with artisans there. She was employing talented people to make really beautiful jewelry and accessories, but she was having trouble finding a market for their products outside of friends and family. I had experience working with artisans in Kenya, and I knew that my friend’s issue was common—small groups of artisans were making really unique products with great stories behind them, but no one knew about it. I puzzled over that problem for the rest of my time in Indonesia, and then when I was on the 16-hour flight back to San Francisco, I came up with the idea for a store that housed a well-curated collection of artisan-made products from all over the world. Back in San Francisco, I talked to my buyer friend Lydia Harter about it, and she immediately signed on. A few months later, we launched Lydali.

UB: Can you tell me about how you track down these amazing artisans?

Ali: We have a couple of different ways of connecting with artisans, but most of the connections happen through friends and friends of friends. One of my favorite connections came from having my family friend, Jay, and his wife, Diana, who had just moved to the Bay Area over for brunch. They had been living in Haiti for the past few years, and Diana had been working with women who were amputees as a result of the 2010 earthquake. She helped to train the women to sew and make bags and hair accessories, and I loved the story and the products. A few weeks after the brunch, we had their products up on Lydali! (Here they are, if you want to see.)

UB: Do you have any advice for young women trying to set up an online business?

Ali: I was a little bit intimidated by the prospect of setting up an online business. Don’t be afraid to go for it, and once you start taking steps to make it happen, things start feeling easier. I reached out to anyone and everyone who was doing something even vaguely related and had conversations with them. So many great learnings came out of talking to others who had started businesses themselves or worked in similar fields. We also were really lucky to have lots of talented friends who wanted to help, so we had friends styling our products, taking photos, writing copy for our website, and helping us find more artisans to work with. Think about the talent you have around you, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

UB: Since this is a bridesmaid blog, I have to throw in a wedding question! Can you share a special memory from your own wedding?

Ali: So, I mentioned that I worked with artisan women in Kenya when I was in college. Well, for my wedding, they sent me this hilariously awful pink plastic ring box that played music for our rings to be carried in for the ceremony. It clashed completely with my style and the style of the wedding, but it was such a sweet thing for them to think to send. We didn’t use it for the actual wedding, but we did bring it out beforehand for pictures so that I could thank the women for the thoughtful gift. (I attached the only picture of it I could find, which doesn’t really capture the true ugliness of this thing!)

Real Bridesmaid Reviews

Dress: David’s Bridal Style 83707

What she thought: This bridesmaid has had a history of trouble with strapless dresses, as you’ll see in her previous review. Luckily, this dress didn’t let her down (literally). “Though this dress didn’t stay up as well as the Alfred Angelo dress, it was much better than some other strapless dresses that I have worn. I was able to get away with not altering it, although maybe a few alterations would have made it fit a tiny bit tighter in the chest.” Overall, Claire enjoyed wearing this sleek charmeuse dress and David Bridal’s low prices didn’t hurt. “The price was great (only $99), the ruching was slimming and the dress had pockets—who doesn’t love that?” In fact, Claire enjoyed wearing this dress so much that she’s worn it to a few other weddings, and it even made her top 3 when she was choosing bridesmaid dresses for her own wedding!