Category Archives: Reception

Our Northeast Charm Wedding in Maine

Hi guys,

You may have noticed a little bit of radio silence and that’s because…

I got MARRIED!

About a month before my wedding, I decided I needed a little break from blogging. Because the month before your wedding is when ALL your vendors desperately need your attention to confirm every last detail and talk through every contingency. So in order to have the energy to focus on my full-time office job as well as the finishing touches of my wedding, I just did not have the mental capacity to update this space as well. But here I am and here’s my wedding update! Warning: It’s going to be a long one!

A lot of people asked me how Andrew and I chose Maine as our wedding destination since we’re not from there. The answer is that in the second year of our relationship, we took a trip to Bar Harbor together and fell in love with it (and which each other, duh). Afterwards, we talked about making a trip to Maine a yearly tradition and both strongly felt it was something we wanted to do. As a couple, we love a balance of traditions (like camping every fall or going to the beach for Fourth of July) and exploring new places in our travels. So every year since, we’ve gone to Mount Desert Island together to hike in Acadia National Park, enjoy lobster at Beal’s Lobster Pound, play mini golf at Pirate’s Cove and sip local brews in Bar Harbor.

Our wedding venue was the Asticou Inn, a gorgeous historic inn that’s been open since 1883 and overlooks Northeast Harbor. It has the classic New England charm we wanted to share with our guests from around the country, from its floral wallpaper and antique furnishings to the Adirondack chairs on the lawn. They also happened to have the perfect event coordinator for me. While I did all the planning and design for our wedding, Sue from the Asticou handled the day-of logistics and truly did an amazing job of executing. I realized early in my wedding planning process that I didn’t need an event designer. I knew exactly what I wanted our wedding to look and feel like—I just needed someone to carry out that vision so I wasn’t arranging place cards or directing lighting installation on the day of my wedding! Sue was perfect for that.

Every wedding will experience a hiccup or two, and we were very lucky to have only very minor ones. The first happened on Thursday afternoon, when my maid of honor Meryl texted me to say that the Bangor, Maine, airport was temporarily closed due to a plane stuck on the runway. This caused delays and cancellations for a few of our guests and ended up resulting in my mom and brother not getting in on Thursday as planned and missing the dinner at our favorite lobster pound on Thursday night. And while that really, really sucked, air delays and travel issues are just a natural part of a destination wedding. If 100% of your guests are traveling to your event—as was the case with our wedding—there are going to be issues, and you just have to be ready for that. The important thing is that everyone makes it to the wedding, and my mom and brother arrived Friday afternoon with plenty of time to spare.

Friday morning is also when Andrew and I realized two things about getting married we hadn’t anticipated: (1) Getting married is like being a D-list celebrity. Everywhere you go, people wave at you, smile at you, want to hug you, etc. (2) Pursuant to number one, when getting married, you must budget 15–20 extra minutes into literally everything you do to spend time talking to guests who see you and want to talk to you. Someone will see you while you’re carrying your breakfast to your table and start chatting and hugging you and your breakfast will get cold if you do not extricate yourself. So those are my two nuggets of wisdom for you.

Our wedding welcome dinner was Friday night at the Lompoc Café in Bar Harbor. We called it a “welcome dinner” rather than a rehearsal dinner because all of our guests were invited. This is common etiquette for a destination wedding when all guests travel to the event. We chose the Lompoc Café because we wanted our guests to have an opportunity to check out Bar Harbor and we wanted a very casual vibe, with people mingling, ordering drinks from the bar and catching up. The Lompoc has a rustic cabin feel and there’s a covered, heated porch as well as an outdoor seating area with bocce ball. It turned out to be a great venue and guests mingled while enjoying delicious pizzas and salads made from seasonal local ingredients.

I have to take a moment to compliment our amazing wedding photographers, Brett and Jessica Donar. We did a photo session together in Acadia National Park, they shot our welcome dinner and then our whole wedding day. We could not love the pictures more. Brett and Jessica were laid-back and easy to work with, and their direction was totally natural. I felt comfortable with them right away and I think it shows in the pictures.

Andrew and I spent the night before our wedding together. Though I know the tradition is for brides and grooms to spend the night apart and not see each other until right before the wedding, that honestly didn’t appeal to me at all. I wanted to spend the night before and morning of my wedding snuggling with him, talking with him, being excited with him. Anything else would have felt weird.

The morning of the wedding, we encountered snafu number two. I had ordered custom table signs on Etsy that were supposed to be paintings of places Andrew and I had been together. The vendor, Lefty Lady Chalk Shop, had told me she was shipping the signs to the inn, but then a week before the wedding she stopped communicating completely and never sent the signs. I held out hope till the day of the wedding that they would magically show up in the mail…but they didn’t. (The Lefty Lady Chalk Shop has since disappeared from Etsy and Etsy refunded me, but this girl basically got away with it and never gave me an explanation.) My bridesmaids and I were forced to think on the fly to come up with a solution. I mentioned that I had black and white rough draft pencil sketches from the artist on my computer and my bridesmaid Marisa got to work cleaning them up in Photoshop, printed the signs in the inn’s front office and delivered them to Sue. All of my bridesmaids told me they thought the versions we made turned out even better than the final product would have been, but I was just grateful to have such supportive, helpful friends. The value of amazing bridesmaids!!

Around noon, I sent my Mom down to the tent to check on how things were looking because I knew she would be the perfect person to direct the look. She’s an amazing hostess and her house and table always look like something out of a magazine. When she came back up, the first thing she said was “Caitlin, the flowers are amazing.” I knew if Mom loved the flowers we were in good shape because her house is always full of them. A few minutes later the florist, Annie of Broadturn Farm, arrived with our bouquets and we got a taste of how beautiful they would be. The bouquets were full of vibrant fall colors—reds, yellows, purples—and all kinds of texture, including fallen leaves and eucalyptus. They were gorgeous.

Meryl helped me get into my dress, which was the Watters Beilin lace sheath with cap sleeves. I also wore my grandma’s fur wrap—her brother was a furrier and made it for her and it has her name embroidered on the inside. It was really special to me to incorporate her into the wedding in some way because she passed away a few years ago and we were very close. I also wore an emerald heart bracelet from my Mom as my something borrowed. It was so special to wear pieces from these two important women in my life.

We did bridal party pictures at the ceremony site, which gave me a chance to sneak into the tent and see it decorated for the first time—it looked amazing, honestly so close to image I had in my head. The long farm tables were left bare to let the deep wood show and then a garland ran down the middle with flowers and candles woven in. Each place was set with white china and accented by a vintage green goblet set on top of a custom coaster I created. The makeshift table signs looked great too. In one corner of the tent was a seating area with a deep green velvet couch and three antique armchairs in gold and green. In the center of the tent was the band stage and dance floor and on the other side was a rustic wood bar draped with a garland and the dessert table. The dessert table turned out totally over the top. We had cakes and pies from a local bakery, cookies from a Youngstown bakery and Momofuku in New York, and our family’s traditional dessert, kolache, homemade by my aunt and dad.

Before the ceremony, my bridesmaid Michele had asked me if I thought I would cry and I said I didn’t think so. I felt calm. I was doing great…until Andrew said his vows. Then I broke down and cried all through my own vows. The officiant actually started crying too! Afterwards all of our guests asked us if we knew her and said they had never seen an officiant cry at a wedding before! We used this set of vows that I found a few months before the wedding. I just immediately connected with the language—it was exactly what I wanted to say and captured how I feel about love and commitment. I shared them with Andrew and we agreed they were perfect for us.

After the ceremony, we took a few last pictures together. We followed a little trail behind the inn down to the shore and I jumped through mud in my wedding dress to get out to a rock so we could get a shot of us right on the water. Then we headed to our cocktail hour (more like hour and a half) so we could finally party! We specifically planned the cocktail hour to be a bit longer so we would get to enjoy some of it.

Around 6pm, the guests headed down to the tent, which was set right by the water. It was really, really hard for me to pick a first dance song, but we finally chose Redbone’s “Come and Get Your Love,” which I think was perfect for us. We are really silly together and loved getting to laugh and smile and sing to each other while we were dancing to this. Throughout the night people commented to me on how great Silver Arrow Band was. They had amazing energy and two killer singers as well as a horn section (my personal must-have). Their range was also incredible—they played jazz at cocktail hour and music across the decades and for all ages at our reception. They are all young music students and graduates trying to make a living in the music business and their passion really shows in what they do.

About halfway through the night a bonfire was lit and that became a gathering place for people who wanted a quieter spot to sit and talk. At one of the band breaks, I saw Sue rush in and ask them to make everyone go outside the tent for a surprise. It was fireworks! My Mom and Dad had arranged them for us without me knowing! The fireworks were shot off from a boat in the harbor and honestly at one point I thought the boat was on fire. It was the perfect ending to an amazing weekend.

For those planning your own Maine wedding, my full vendor list is at the bottom of this post. I highly endorse all these people; they were amazing to work with! And feel free to email me with questions about any of them or planning a wedding in Maine—I’m happy to help!

Maid of Honor Speech Writing Prompts

This post could probably be entitled “creative writing tips” because that’s really what writing a speech is all about—with the caveat that whatever you write needs to sounds natural when spoken aloud. Since getting started is usually the hardest part, I’ve compiled a list of maid of honor speech writing prompts that will help you organize your thoughts about the bride and groom and focus your speech. I’ve also written on how to format your speech and some maid of honor speech do’s and don’ts, if you’re looking for more info.

To start writing a speech, I am a firm advocate of just vomiting out whatever enters your mind (from your fingers, not your mouth). Other people would call this “stream of consciousness” or “spontaneous writing,” but “word vomiting” is just as apt. The whole idea is to not worry about choosing the right word or turn of phrase. You want to focus on ideas rather than word choice. Organization and finesse can come later. What you need to start are the broad strokes. Sometimes I don’t even write full sentences. I just jot down phrases or words that enter my head. I skip around. I leave my thoughts unfinished. I just get something out there. Don’t worry if what you’re writing doesn’t make sense. Let yourself go.

Once you have all those words down, read over what you’ve written. What has potential to be expanded? What catches your attention? Do you see some of the same words and ideas coming up again and again? Sometimes getting out your thoughts shows you the shape of what you want to say. To give you a really good example, when I started writing this post I thought it would be a step-by-step guide to writing a maid of honor speech. But as I was word vomiting (don’t worry, I feel fine now), I realized that I was focusing a lot on the barriers that keep us from starting to write a speech and how we can overcome them. So I modified my idea, organized my thoughts and turned this post into what you see today.

Still struggling? Here are a few tiny tricks I use to help with my writing process and some general advice on maid of honor speeches in particular.

1. If you get stuck on a word, or find yourself slowing up as you grasp for a particular concept, just type “TK” and move on. TK is a editing term that means “to come” (don’t ask about the K instead of a C, I don’t know). TK is really useful because it frees you to keep writing, but you know you need to come back later and find that perfect word.

2. Sometimes your brain needs a warm-up. If I’m struggling with writing, I like to tackle a simple task or mental problem. I feel like it gets my brain organized and ready to think without all the creative frustration that can come from writing. So for example, I might work on putting together a shopping list or read a blog post by a writer I admire. Endless scrolling on Instagram or catching up on Real Housewives won’t encourage your mind to be active. Quite the opposite—those activities are like pause buttons for your brain waves.

3. Resist the urge to use or modify a canned speech from the internet. Resist, resist, resist! 95% of the ones I have read are horrible—like truly cringe-inducing. The number one thing you speech should be is personal and there is no way you’ll get that from a template.

And here are your writing prompts. Use these to get you started. Hopefully these ideas will help you find the nugget of a story or idea that will lead to the perfect speech.

Maid of Honor Speech Writing Prompts

What words best describe the bride?

What words best describe the groom?

What words best describe their relationship?

How did you meet the bride?

How did the bride and groom meet?

What did they do on their first date?

What did you think of the groom when you first met him?

What’s your favorite story about the couple?

What do you admire about their relationship?

How did the groom propose?

What are some of the highlights or milestones of their relationship?

What were some of the challenges they faced in their relationship?

What’s your favorite story to tell about the bride?

Is there a story that epitomizes the bride?

Is there a story that epitomizes their relationship?

What hobbies and interests, like and dislikes do the couple share? How has that enhanced their relationship?

What hobbies or interests, likes or dislikes do they differ on? Has that led to any funny stories?

Have they tried to introduce their spouse to something new? Has it succeeded or failed (hopefully in spectacular fashion)?

Photograph by Christa Nicole Photography.

Win 2 Tickets to the 3rd NYC NotWedding!

All the wedding fun, none of the drama—that should be the NotWedding’s motto. Conceived as a bridal show alternative, it’s also just a pretty dang fun party. A married couple renews their vows in a gorgeous setting (this season they’ll be at the Green Building, which is something of a blank canvas, so I can’t wait to see what they create!) while local brides-to-be get to see vendors at work. Everything else you love about a wedding—gourmet treats, freely (and free) flowing bubbly, a dessert bar, photo booth fun, dance floor shenanigans—you’ll find it.

The best part? Ultimate Bridesmaid is giving away 2 tickets to the 3rd NYC NotWedding, Sept. 23rd at the Green Building in Brooklyn. I highly recommend it as a fun night out with a girlfriend, or feel free to bring your fiance along—I saw plenty of ’em hitting up the bar at May’s event. To enter to win, leave a comment on this post or like our Facebook page, then submit your contact info through the Rafflecopter form below.

*No purchase necessary. A winner will be selected at random by Rafflecopter on 9/16/14. Winner will be notified via email by Ultimate Bridesmaid and must respond within 48 hours to claim their prize. Winner grants Ultimate Bridesmaid the right to share the winner’s email address with the giveaway sponsor (The NotWedding) for the sole purpose of delivering the prize to the winner. No email addresses will be used or retained to send promotional materials. The prize will consist of two tickets to The NotWedding held in Brooklyn on 9/23/14. Winner is responsible for his or her own transportation to and from event. Prize cannot be redeemed for cash or substituted for anything other than the stated prize.

The 10 Most Overdone Bridesmaid Photos on Pinterest

You’ve been meticulously planning your wedding for months—well, let’s be honest, more like years via your secret “Future Mrs.” Pinterest board. So it’s understandable that you’ve seen a lot of cute wedding photos. Here’s the trouble. What may have started out as a cute and original idea has had all the cuteness and originality sucked out of it when a simple search yields dozens, if not hundreds, of girls doing the exact. same. thing.

Pinterest can be an amazing tool and asset. But too often we try to turn it into a dream xerox machine. There are a few great articles written by photographers and bloggers alike about the effect of Pinterest on the wedding industry. They talk about how Pinterest discourages the creative process and creates both unreal expectations and a copy-cat culture. Pinstrosity and #pinfails are the ultimate expression of that phenomenon. You see something you love and you try to make it yourself, and you fail…epically. Unfortunately, while we’re quite used to thinking of nail art tutorials and simple peanut butter souffle recipes as ripe for a pinstrosity, we don’t often think about wedding photography that way—but we should. Trying to recreate an image you love will have the same result. What looked natural and beautiful or freakin hilarious on Pinterest will most likely look forced and awkward when you try it yourself. This is because taking a good photograph is not the same as following a recipe. It’s much, much harder.

What’s frustrating about this problem is that it comes from a good place, a place of wanting to be creative and unique. Pinterest really is very inspiring. For me, there’s a strong element of discovery in Pinterest. In particular, it has led me to a ton of blogs I would have never otherwise found. It has introduced me to artists, photographers and designers who are doing amazing work. In a practical sense, I have used Pinterest for party planning, recipe hunting and even Christmas list making. I also use it to pin pretty pictures of ice creams that I will never make—but I know it’s just an ice cream dream…really!

So, without further ado, the top 10 bridesmaid-related photos that are way overdone. Don’t let Pinterest create a wedding shot list for you. Let yourself live in the moment of the day and see if you don’t unintentionally create an authentic moment that translates into a beautiful photograph that someday finds its way onto this list.

1. Bride and MOH Jumping on the Bed

Photo by Brad Ross

How bout we make this rule: If you have not jumped on a bed in the last ten years, you do not get to do this. I think that seems fair.

2. The Bridesmaids Pose

Photo by The Bird and the Bear

Did you even like this movie? Please tell me you’ve at least seen it. Also, their poses aren’t that interesting. So you’re just doing weirdly specific poses from a 2011 comedy. This is going to get dated fast.

3. Don’t Corrupt the Flower Girl

Photo by Maria Vicencio

I love that this image is so popular that we have collected agreed on a phrase for this pose: “Don’t corrupt the flower girl.” If you’d like to be truly horrified, look up some of the less successful attempts at recreating the above original.

4. How We Met the Bride (With Chalkboard, Of Course)

Photo by Katy Hall Photography

Here’s a case where the first time someone ever did this, it was cute. Now? Played out. Also, so many chalkboards! Why the chalkboards, all the time, everywhere?

5. Bridesmaids at the Bar

Photo by Miller Miller Photography

Uggghhhh, cheese factor times one thousand. Also, did they all legitimately chug a beer before the wedding? Because to get it upside down like that, you gotta be draining that thing.

6. We’re All Wearing Such Cute Matching Floral Robes

Photo by Melanie Lust Photography

I mean, I get it. Robes are cute. But this particular type of robe is just every-freakin-where.

7. Just Wait Till You See Her!

Photo by Perry Vaile

The conceit behind this one is that you’re supposed to take this picture and then text it to the groom right before the wedding. My first thought is: Is the groom supposed to think this is cute? Clever? I’d wager money he will think neither. Second thought: What do you do if you don’t have exactly six bridesmaids?

8. Bouquet Face

The 10 Most Overdone Bridesmaid Photos on Pinterest

Photo by Dani Fine Photography

You spent so much time on your makeup, ladies. Why hide your faces?

9. Your Affection Disgusts Us

Photo by Ricky Stern Photography

No one is that disgusted by kissing. I mean, they should at least be going to second base for this to make any sense.

10. Bridesmaid Booty Shot

This one just cropped up recently, but it’s threatening to gain popularity. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, please, do not let this happen.

A Lowcountry Creekside Bridesmaid Luncheon in Charleston

There’s something incredibly relaxing and also kind of magical about sitting on a dock with friends, enjoying a cocktail and watching the water flow by. That tranquil lowcountry vibe is perfectly captured by Clay Austin Photography in this styled bridesmaid luncheon created for the 2nd Charleston NotWedding. The stunning florals set a secret garden vibe with wild greenery and sunset-colored blooms. The simple geometric chandelier draped in ivy is a modern counterpoint to the rustic charm of the dock. Turquoise accents abound, from the wooden monogram signs on the back of each chair (what a perfect bridesmaid favor!) to the electric blue specialty cocktail topped with a matching striped straw. The 2nd Charleston NotWedding is this Wednesday, July 9th, at the Boone Hall Plantation. (Wondering exactly what a NotWedding might be? More here.) Unfortunately, tickets are sold out, but check The NotWedding blog soon for all the gorgeous details.

Frock + Flowers // Gold Dress + White Bouquet

Frock + Flowers is your guide for choosing which flowers to pair with your bridesmaid dresses. For this inaugural Frock + Flowers post, I paired gold metallic dresses with light-colored flowers in whites with pops of pale pink and orange. Gold is such a glamorous choice for a bridesmaid dress, but the light bouquets add a softness and femininity when paired with this sexy shade. It’s the perfect way to ground the sparkle, especially for a daytime or outdoor wedding in the spring and summer.

Frock: Gold, metallic dresses

Flowers: White bouquets with pops of pale pink and orange

The vibe: Soft glamour, subtle sparkle

Image credits: Top left: 100 Layer Cake | Top right: Style Me Pretty | Bottom left: Elizabeth Anne Designs | Bottom right: 100 Layer Cake

ModCloth’s Tips for Styling a Bridesmaid Dress After the Wedding

“Oh, you’ll totally be able to wear that again.” You’ve heard this a million times, right? And sure, you may have had the best of intentions. You may have really thought you’d be throwing on that pastel green chiffon dress every summer. You were totally going to get that floor-length number shortened. But despite your intentions, that bridesmaid dress hasn’t seen any action since wedding day. ModCloth can help you change that with this amazing styling session that transforms three bridesmaid looks into everyday outfits. The key is that the new looks aren’t formal at all—they take dresses that looked fancy on wedding day and style them for your real life…not just the other weddings you have to attend. To really get wear out of your bridesmaid dresses, they need to be able to go out to dinner, a bar or a concert. Check out the styling video below for three perfect examples.

And if you’re smitten, check out ModCloth’s entire collection of bridesmaid-worthy styles (did we mention how affordable they are??).

Ultimate Bridesmaid

The bridesmaid blog for bridal shower and bachelorette party inspiration, bridesmaid duties, party games, fashion, favors and more

Category Archives: Reception

Our Northeast Charm Wedding in Maine

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Maid of Honor Speech Writing Prompts

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Win 2 Tickets to the 3rd NYC NotWedding!

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